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THE  FARCE  OF 
MASTER  PIERRE  PATELIN 


^atSrepterrepat^elm 


The  emblem  of  Pierre  Levtt 


u 


THE    FARCE    OF 

MASTER  PIERRE 
PATELIN 

Composed  by  an  unknown   Author  about    1469   a.  D. 

Englished  by  RICHARD  HOLBROOK 


Illustrated  with  facsimiles  of 
the  woodcuts  in  the  edition  of 
Pierre  Levet,  Paris,  ca.  1489 


BOSTON  AND   NEW  YORK 
HOUGHTON   MIFFLIN  AND    COMPANY 
THE     RIVERSIDE     PRESS     CAMBRIDGE 

MDCCCCV 


COPYRIGHT  1905  BY  RICHARD  HOLBROOK 
ALL   RIGHTS   RESERVED 


Published  November  iQOi 


ASS 


'To  my  friends 
WILLIAM    LYON    PHELPS 

and 
WILLIAM  ALBERT  NITZE 


CONTENTS 


Preface       .......         ix— xv 

Setting  of  the  Comedie  Fran^aise       .         .        xvii— xix 
Introduction        .....         xxi— xxxviii 

The  Text 1-94 

Notes  on  the  Text       .....     95-112 
Notes  on  the  Cuts  .  ....        113-116 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

The  emblem  of  Pierre  Levet  .  .          .       Frontispiece 

Patelin,  counting  on  his  fingers  ....        7 

It  is  too  much        ......  15 

The  Draper  visits  Patelin    .  .         .         .         '33 

The  Shepherd  comes  to  explain  .         .         .         61 

The  court  scene         .         .  .         .         .         '7^ 

Patelin  tries  to  collect  his  fee  .  .         .         .         91 

[vii] 


PREFACE 


ALL  that  I  have  to  say  of  Patelin  as  a 
work  of  literature  will  be  found  in  the 
Introduction  or  in  the  Notes  on  the 
Text.  It  is  not  amiss  therefore  to  make  here  cer- 
tain remarks  of  a  more  dry  and  technical  nature. 
This  translation  was  made  from  my  manuscript 
copy  of  the  only  known  extant  exemplar  of  the 
Patelin  printed  by  Guillaume  Le  Roy*  at  Lyons, 
about  i486.  Before  December  20,  i490,f  Le  Roy's 
Patelin  was  faithfully  reprinted,  with  six  excellent 
illustrative  woodcuts,  by  Pierre  Levet,  a  celebrated 
Parisian  printer  and  publisher.  Of  Levet's  Pate- 
liny  also,  only  one  exemplar  is  now  believed  to  ex- 
ist. This  book,  which  is  preserved  at  the  Biblio- 
theque  Nationale  in  Paris,  is  a  beautiful  specimen 

*  Lent  me  by  its  generous  owner,  M.  Albert  Rosset  of  Lyons, 
France. 

•j-  See  my  essay  on  'Mattre  Patelin  in  the  Gothic  editions  by 
Pierre  Levet  and  Germain  Beneaut,'  in  Modern  Philology  for 
June,  1905. 

[ix] 


Preface 

of  early  printing,  and  is  fortunately  in  perfect  con- 
dition. I  say  *  fortunately '  because  several  pages 
have  at  some  indefinite  period  been  lost  from  the 
older  Patelin  by  Le  Roy.  These  are  now  replaced 
by  pen-and-ink  counterfeits,  probably  derived 
from  Levet,  and  executed  so  skilfully  as  almost  to 
escape  detection. 

From  the  fifteenth  century  only  one  manuscript 
has  come  down.  Whether  or  not  this  manuscript 
is  earlier  than  Le  Roy's  edition,  it  offers  a  less 
authoritative  text,  and  only  one  of  its  readings  has 
been  followed  in  this  translation.  But,  since  Le 
Roy's  edition  is  probably  the  first,  and  as  it  is 
hardly  more  than  seventeen  years  younger  than  the 
farce  itself  (r«.  1469),  there  is  no  reason  to  suppose 
that  it  differs  essentially  from  the  author's  manu- 
script, which,  no  doubt,  was  long  ago  thumbed 
out  of  existence  by  the  first  actors  who  performed 
his  masterpiece. 

It  may  be  interesting  to  know  how  Fournier's 
version  of  this  farce  is  arranged  for  production  at 
the  Comedie  Fran9aise.  It  is  divided  into  three 
acts.  The  first  ends  with  the  Draper's  soliloquy, 
Scene  iv  (lines  344-351).  The  second  act  begins, 
therefore,  with  Scene  y.  Scene  vi,  except  the 
words  *  Hello!  Master  Pierre!'  spoken  by  the 
Draper  a  moment  after  he  has  knocked  at  Patelin's 
door,  must  be  omitted.    The  Draper's  soliloquy 

["] 


Preface 

at  the  end  of  Scene  viii  will  be  uttered  before  he 
quits  Patelin's  bedroom. 

Pursuing  this  system,  we  must  omit  Scene  x  and 
Scene  xii,  though  we  hear  the  Draper  pounding 
angrily  on  Patelin's  door,  and  distinguish  the  words 
*  Ho,  there!  mis'ess :  where  are  you  hiding?' 
Next,  the  Draper  must  speak  the  lines  of  Scene 
XIV,  not  in  the  street,  but  at  Patelin's,  as  a  kind  of 
soliloquy. 

Act  III  begins  with  Scene  xvi.  As  the  Shepherd 
leaves  him,  the  Draper  disappears  within  his  shop  ; 
then  the  Shepherd,  instead  of  going  to  Patelin's 
house  and  calling,  *  Is  any  one  within  ? '  meets 
Patelin  as  that  worthy  comes  strolling  across  the 
market-place,  and  accosts  him  because  he  recog- 
nises by  Patelin's  dress  that  he  is  a  lawyer.  We 
must  now  give  the  Shepherd  an  exit  after  his  last 
lines  in  Scene  xvii ;  he  will  reappear,  somewhere 
in  the  crowd,  about  as  the  Judge  asks,  *  Where  is 
the  defendant  ?  Is  he  present  in  person  ? '  shortly 
after  the  beginning  of  the  trial  scene.  From  this 
point  onward  the  piece  proceeds  precisely  as  it  did 
when  it  was  first  performed. 

In  the  text  of  my  translation  hardly  any  of  these 
suggestions  for  rearrangement  occur  ;  for  they  are 
purely  modern  and  would  often  contradict  the 
other  set  of  stage-directions  which  are  reasonably 
derived  from  study  of  the  text.  These  are  largely 
[xi] 


Preface 

my  own,  though  many  of  them  are  due  to  my 
notes  on  a  performance  of  Fournier's  version  at 
the  Comedie  Francaise  in  August,  1904. 

Elsewhere  (pages  xvii-xix)  will  be  found  a  pretty 
accurate  description  of  the  stage-setting  adopted 
by  the  Comedie  Francaise.  Absolute  accuracy  is 
something  I  am  far  from  claiming ;  for  while  the 
play  was  in  progress  the  pit  was  rather  dim,  and 
I  was  too  fascinated  to  be  taking  notes. 

In  the  oldest  texts  of  Patelin  there  is  but  one 
stage-direction  (see  Notes  on  the  Text,  Note  v), 
and  there  is  no  division  into  acts  or  scenes ;  nor 
are  the  verses  numbered. 

As  to  costume  nothing  need  be  said ;  for 
M.  Boutet  de  Monvel's  sixteen  dry-point  etch- 
ings show  admirably  how  the  various  personages 
in  our  farce  would  have  been  dressed  about  the 
year  1470.  In  the  fourth  volume  of  his  work  on 
Le  Costume  HistoriquCy  Racinet  gives  a  lithographic 
reproduction  of  a  fifteenth-century  miniature  show- 
ing what  colours  might  be  worn  by  a  Judge,  his 
Clerk,  a  Lawyer,  and  a  Bailiff  (or  Sergent  a  verge)^ 
etc.,  in  the  second  half  of  the  fifteenth  century. 
This  lithograph  is  a  copy  of  a  French  manuscript 
marked  *Ancien  fonds  9387'  and  preserved  at 
the  Bibliotheque  Nationale.  The  miniature  is  no 
doubt  an  accurate  representation  of  a  court  scene 
of  that  period.  But  the  court  scene  in  Patelin 
[xii] 


Preface 

may  reasonably  be  supposed  to  occur  in  a  market- 
place. 

As  we  learn  from  the  opening  conversation  be- 
tween Patelin  and  Guillemette,  their  clothes  are 
threadbare ;  and  as  the  Shepherd  says  (to  Patelin), 
*  even  though  I  be  ill  clad,'  we  may  safely  assume 
that  his  apparel  was  mostly  in  rags. 

The  six  illustrative  woodcuts  which  Pierre  Levet 
published  with  his  Patelin  about  1489  are  offered 
in  facsimile  with  this  translation.  These  woodcuts 
were  undoubtedly  made  especially  for  Levet's 
edition,  and  were  not  borrowed,  with  little  or  no 
sense  of  fitness,  from  some  earlier  work,  as  com- 
monly happened  in  the  infancy  of  printing.  They 
are  valuable  for  two  reasons :  in  the  first  place 
they  are  almost  contemporaneous  with  our  farce, 
and  show,  however  crudely,  what  the  illustrator, 
or  illustrators  (for  there  may  have  been  two), 
fancied  to  have  been  the  looks  of  five  characters 
whose  likes  could  be  observed  at  any  time ;  in  the 
second  place,  these  woodcuts  are  no  doubt  the  first 
that  were  ever  made  to  illustrate  for  the  printing- 
press  a  comedy  composed  in  a  modern  tongue. 
Do  they  prove  anything  as  to  the  use  of  stage 
scenery  ?  Or  are  we  to  believe  their  setting  is 
purely  conventional,  chosen  merely  because  the 
engraver  did  not  care  to  sketch  figures  in  the 
air .?  The  question  is  hard  to  answer,  yet  I  am  con- 
[  xiii  ] 


Preface 

vinced  that  the  farces  were  not  performed  on  empty 
platforms ;  the  *  serious  drama '  was  staged  with 
complicated  machinery,  and  it  is  hardly  reasonable 
to  suppose  that  the  farces,  which  grew  out  of  the 
*  serious  drama '  and  were  often  performed  with  it, 
could  have  lacked  all  scenery,  or  that  they  had, 
forsooth,  no  other  setting  than  a  wall,  a  floor,  a 
bench  and  a  chair.  No  archaeological  proof  exists 
to  compel  conscientious  moderns  to  adopt  a  scene- 
less  stage  in  performing  medieval  comedies ;  on 
the  other  hand,  art  does  not  require  that  they  be 
elaborately  staged,  with  gorgeous  scenery  such  as 
is  generally  used  to  make  Shakespere's  plays  seem 
more  plausible  to  persons  whose  imaginations  can 
not  perceive  the  temple-haunting  martlet  amid 
his  lov'd  mansionry. 

Now,  as  to  this  translation.  To  the  best  of  my 
belief  no  other  English  translation  of  Patelin  has 
ever  been  printed.  Thus  there  was  no  model, 
either  to  help  or  to  harm  ;  nor  was  there,  further- 
more, any  adequate  dictionary  to  quicken  the 
pace.  I  cannot  say,  as  Shelton  said  of  his  Don 
^ixotey  that  I  did  this  work  in  forty  days.  It 
has  taken  nearer  twenty  months,  and  in  this  case  it 
is  not  at  all  true  that  Me  temps  ne  fait  rien  a 
Taffaire ' ;  for  Patelin  teems  with  difficulties,  — 
some  of  them  so  great  that  perhaps  they  may 
never  be  solved,  while  others  yield  their  secret 
[  xiv  ] 


Preface 

only  after  one  has  ransacked  a  dozen  volumes  for 
the  answer.  Of  course  the  commentators*  help, 
especially  when  they  are  scholars  like  Mr.  Kris- 
tofFer  Nyrop  or  the  late  Gaston  Paris,  but  in  the 
main  the  translator  has  had  to  make  his  way  alone, 
then  retrace  his  steps  a  score  of  times,  smoothing 
his  path  little  by  little,  until  he  concludes  at  last 
that  further  efforts  on  his  part  are  vain.  He  is 
a  pioneer  and  knows  perfectly  well  that  some  day 
the  work  will  be  better  done. 

*  Genin's  edition,  published  in  1 854,  should  not  be  forgotten. 
Genin  put  forth  several  theories  whose  falsity  could  hardly  have 
failed  to  be  evident  to  some  of  his  contemporaries,  and  not  only 
his  text,  but  also  his  commentary,  contains  many  inaccuracies  ; 
yet  Genin,  despite  his  whimsies,  was  a  clever  man,  and  his  edi- 
tion deserved  the  recognition  accorded  to  it  by  Littre  and  Renan. 
Ample  allowance  must  be  made  for  the  fact  that  Romance  philo- 
logy was  at  that  time  a  new  science. 

Paul  Lacroix  published  his  edition  of  Patelin  in  1859.  Lacroix 
made  some  improvements  in  the  text,  but  his  notes,  often  derived 
from  Genin,  show  no  great  advance,  and  are  marred  by  their 
facetious  abuse  of  Genin. 


[XV] 


rHE  STAGE-SErriNG  OF 
THE   COM^DIE  FRANQAISE 

{With  some  stage-directions) 

act:  I 

AM ARKET-PLACE,  such  as  one  might 
have  seen  in  a  small  French  town  about 
the  year  1469.  To  the  left,  a  low  build- 
ing of  which  two  sides  are  partly  visible.  This 
is  the  shop  of  the  draper  Guillaume  Joceaulme, 
whose  name  is  written  in  large  Gothic  letters  over 
the  heavy  double  door.  Behind  this  shop,  but 
separated  from  it  by  a  lane,  stands  a  dwelling 
whose  roof  rises  from  several  gabies  to  various 
peaks,  joined  by  decorative  ridges.  A  little  further 
to  the  right,  in  the  distant  background,  stands  a 
church  tower,  skirted  on  the  left  by  a  narrow  street 
which  is  lost  to  view  among  the  houses  that  lean 
over  it  and  straggle  along  its  sides.  In  the  fore- 
ground, half  concealing  the  church  tower,  is  a 
[  xvii  ] 


Stage-Setting 


stone  canopy,  or  market-cross,  whose  roof  rises 
steeply  to  a  stone  tuft,  like  the  finial  of  a  cathedral. 

In  each  of  the  four  sides  of  this  structure  is  a 
niche  with  a  stone  seat.  The  only  seat  visible  will 
be  occupied  by  the  Judge  during  the  trial  scene. 
The  whole  canopy  rests  on  masonry  so  disposed 
as  to  form  six  or  seven  steps  on  all  four  sides. 

In  the  foreground  to  the  right,  facing  the  shop 
of  Guillaume,  is  a  stone  dwelling,  and  beyond  it, 
in  the  background,  are  other  buildings  through 
which  runs  a  street  so  narrow  and  tortuous  that  it 
is  soon  lost  to  view  in  an  uncertain  mass  of  houses 
which  separate  it  from  the  church. 

In  the  foreground,  between  the  market-cross 
and  the  Draper's  shop,  stands  a  short  thick  post 
on  which  rests  a  box  with  a  slot  in  it  to  admit  the 
God's-pennies  of  those  who  trade  in  the  market- 
place. 

When  the  curtain  rises  on  this  Gothic  scene 
the  townsfolk  are  just  beginning  to  bestir  them- 
selves for  the  day's  business  and  the  glow  of 
morning  is  visible  over  the  housetops,  though 
the  light  has  not  illuminated  the  crooked  lanes. 
There  are  vague  noises ;  an  apprentice  opens  the 
Draper's  shop,  brings  out  a  table,  and  upon  this 
counter  he  sets  about  arranging  some  of  his 
master's  goods  in  orderly  piles.  Presently  Master 
Pierre  Patelin  emerges  from  the  street  to  the  left, 
[  xviii  ] 


Stage-Setting 


followed  by  his  wife  Guillemette.  The  lawyer  is 
bent  in  meditation.  As  he  slowly  enters  the  mar- 
ket-place he  begins  to  speak  to  Guillemette. 


ACT  II 

A  room  in  Patelin's  house.  In  the  left  wall  is 
a  door  opening  on  the  street.  Against  the  rear 
wall  stands  a  bedstead  with  a  tester  whose  curtains 
reach  the  floor  and  may  be  drawn  so  as  to  hide  the 
bed  completely.  Near  the  bed  and  the  door  is 
a  great  armchair.  In  the  wall  to  the  right  is  a  win- 
dow through  which  enters  a  rather  dim  light.  Be- 
fore this  window  stands  a  heavy  wooden  table, 
very  plain,  and  close  to  the  table  is  an  ordinary 
chair.  Though  the  room  looks  tidy  enough, 
everything  about  it  bears  witness  to  poverty. 


ACT   III 

The  Draper's  shop  is  closed ;   otherwise  the 
same  setting  as  for  Act  I. 

[  '^J'^  ] 


INTRODUCTION 


PA'TELIN  belongs  to  a  series  of  farces 
which  had  come  mysteriously  into  being 
as  early  as  1277,  when  a  little  piece  called 
I'he  Boy  and  the  Blind  Man  was  performed  at 
Tournay.*  Most  of  these  farces  have  been  lost, 
but  the  hundred  and  fifty  or  so  that  happen  to 

*  If  not  in  1277,  at  all  events  about  that  time.  This  tiny 
farce  was  cKscovered  by  M.  Paul  Meyer  some  forty  years  ago. 
Of  the  farces  extant  two  score  were  found  by  some  one  rummag- 
ing in  a  Berlin  attic  about  1 840.  The  Boy  and  the  Blind  Man 
owes  its  preservation  to  the  happy  chance  that  some  scribe  saw 
fit  to  copy  it  at  the  end  of  a  manuscript  containing  the  Roman 
d '  Alexandre. 

This  farce  is  no  shapeless  embryo,  but  shows,  on  the  contrary, 
that  farce-makers  must  have  been  plying  their  trade  as  early,  at 
least,  as  1250.  The  theme  of  The  Boy  and  the  Blind  Man  is 
picaresque.  An  urchin  offers  to  lead  a  blind  man,  whose  trust- 
fiilness  he  rewards  by  robbery  and  violence  ;  but,  like  Moliere's 
Scapin,  the  boy  contrives  to  make  his  victim  believe  that  some 
third  person  is  guilty. 

Two  comic  plays  by  Adam  de  la  Hale  belong  to  the  same 
period,  but  they  could  scarcely  be  called  farces. 
[  xxi  ] 


Introduction 


survive  show  clearly  enough  what  must  have  been 
the  character  and  range  of  all. 

The  old  farces  breathe  the  scandal  and  mockery 
of  their  time.  Seldom  if  ever  do  they  rise  to  a 
height  from  which  man  can  be  seen  in  his  relation 
to  the  world.  They  reek  of  a  cold  sensuality  into 
which  love  never  enters.  They  are  nearly  all  de- 
void of  the  humour  which  accompanies  a  Moliere's 
insight  into  the  weaknesses  of  man  and  the  vagaries 
of  society.  Like  most  modern  farces  they  deal 
with  fads,  rather  than  with  the  great  movements 
of  their  time.  No  extant  farce  alludes  unmistake- 
ably  to  Jeanne  d'Arc :  she  belonged  to  an  earlier 
age  than  that  in  which  she  was  born ;  but  women 
with  almost  no  redeeming  quality  abound,  and 
are  portrayed  with  a  coarseness  of  feeling  and  an 
indelicacy  of  language  for  which  occasional  wit 
cannot  atone.  Graceful  irony,  irony  like  that  of 
the  Franc-archer  de  Bagnolet,  is  rare.  There  are  no 
heroes  and  no  heroines,  no  brave  actions  and  no 
leaders ;  but  plenty  of  rogues  and  fools,  whose  guile 
and  folly  give  rise  to  those  situations  which  pica- 
resque literature  swarms  with  and  which  had  once 
delighted  the  makers  o^  fabliaux.  But  these  situa- 
tions are  realistic,  almost  invariably,  and  modern. 
Whether  the  farces  are  base  or  not,  we  of  the 
twentieth  century  should  find  it  easier  to  talk 
with  their  authors  than  with  the  bards  who  two 
[  xxii  ] 


Introduction 


or  three  centuries  earlier  had  sung  of  war  and 
romance. 

When  the  farces  began  to  flourish,  chivalry  was 
rapidly  going  out  of  fashion ;  the  modern  world  of 
business  and  practical  ideas  was  coming  in ;  the 
bourgeois  had  ousted  the  knight,  and  having  money 
to  spend,  he  spent  it  on  purveyors  who  were  ready 
to  tell  him  about  himself  and  his  neighbours.  The 
town-crier  gave  him  some  news,  but  that  was  not 
highly  spiced  ;  real  journalists  were  still  unknown. 
At  the  theatre,  and  there  only,  could  he  get  reflec- 
tions of  life.  It  mattered  little  whether  these 
reflections  were  false ;  whether  they  were  due  to 
sheer  second-hand  glimpses,  so  to  speak,  cast  into 
disreputable  corners,  never  resting  on  life's  broad 
avenues ;  he  craved  sensation,  he  liked  heightened 
scenes  based  on  contemporary  gossip  or  contem- 
porary facts,  flavoured  with  scandal,  something 
credible  but  seemingly  not  commonplace. 

In  the  long-winded  mysteries  he  could  witness 
the  spectacular  performance  of  biblical  scenes  from 
the  Creation  to  the  Crucifixion,  or  of  scenes  de- 
rived from  later  history  and  legend.  The  miracle- 
plays  manifested  the  power  of  Our  Lady  or  of 
some  saint,  intervening  in  behalf  of  a  medieval  or 
earlier  celebrity  on  the  brink  of  perdition.  In  both 
these  types  thoroughly  popular  scenes  abounded. 
Many  specimens  of  the  *  serious  drama  '  contain 
[  xxiii  ] 


I NTRODUCTION 


comic  episodes,  different,  however,  from  those  of 
the  farces.  In  the  Middle  Ages  the  Devil  in- 
spired terror,  but  he  was  also  closely  akin  to  the 
mountebank.  Hence  his  presence  on  the  medieval 
stage.  Clad  in  skins  of  beasts,  or  in  other  fan- 
tastic garb,  he  and  his  imps  performed  antics  both 
fearful  and  grotesque. 

The  moralities  were  commonly  didactic,  and 
dealt,  like  Everyman^  with  abstractions,  such  as 
Gluttony  and  the  five  senses,  Lust,  Learning, 
or  Better-than-before ;  the  sotties  are  mainly  clap- 
trap satirical  dialogues  showing  little  or  no  plot 
and  composed  for  clowns  or  sots,  who  enlivened 
their  garrulous  banter  by  performing  acrobatic 
feats.  These  sotties  were  written  in  verse,  but 
otherwise  they  closely  resemble  the  medleys  of 
dialogue,  song,  and  gymnastics  to  be  found  now- 
adays at  almost  any  music-hall. 

With  the  sotties  and  the  moralities  the  farces 
have  a  great  deal  in  common,  so  much,  some- 
times, that  one  can  hardly  distinguish  between 
them  ;  but  the  farces  are  generally  more  like  life, 
and  there  are  some  reasons  for  believing  that  they 
were  more  popular.*    In  them  the  bourgeois  saw 

*  This  Introduction  merely  glimpses  into  the  history  of  medi- 
eval drama.      Mr.    E.  K.  Chambers  has  gathered  an  immense 
mass  of  information  in  his  two  volumes  on  The  Medieval  Stage, 
Oxford,  1903,  and  Mr.  J.  Mortensen's  very  readable  book  on 
[  xxiv  ] 


Introduction 


images  of  his  existence,  and  though  the  reflection 
of  reality  often  resembles  the  distorted  figures 
beheld  in  some  old-fashioned  mirror,  never  before 
had  literature  come  so  near  to  the  facts  of  life  in 
its  homely  phases.  Like  some  modern  reprobate 
who  was  flattered  to  find  a  grossly  realistic  carica- 
ture of  himself  in  a  comic  paper,  many  a  citizen 
of  the  fifteenth  century,  happening  to  find  himself 
travestied  in  a  farce,  could  have  said,  Cet  ignoble 
individu.,  cest  moil  The  farces  were,  in  fact,  the 
only  form  of  art  that  enabled  him  to  witness  house- 
hold or  other  familiar  scenes,  and  little  as  the  aver- 
age truth  was  like  the  theatrical  representation,  his 
enjoyment  was  immense.  Through  eye  and  ear 
he  could  relish  depravity  with  nothing  more  than 
a  mental  participation  in  the  sin.  Here  was  an 
oflFset  to  the  humdrum  round.  At  church  he  could 
hear  the  parish  priest  chant  psalms  and  pray  for 
the  cure  of  souls ;  at  the  theatre  he  might  catch 
him  in  merrier  business,  conniving  with  crafty 
housewives  to  gull  their  husbands,  and  sinning  as 
often  as  he  could  get  a  chance  to  sin.  Here  foolish 
rich  men  were  regularly  bamboozled  by  sly  *ga- 
lants' ;  merchants  cheated  and  were  cheated  in  their 
turn ;  fools  gave  rein  to  their  folly ;  everybody  was 
tempted  and  fell.    The  whole  middle-class  world, 

Le  theatre  fran^ais  au  moyen  age,  Paris,  1903,  also  deals  with 
facts. 

[    XXV    ] 


Introduction 


and  sometimes  nobles  or  churls,  had  an  opportun- 
ity to  be  vividly  ridiculous. 

In  these  old  farces  vice  almost  always  gets  the 
better  of  virtue;  thinking  is  mostly  scheming;  love 
is  mere  feigning ;  truth  is  boldly  sacrificed  to  mirth, 
and  mirth  is  the  aim  of  all.  No  wonder  that  Bos- 
suet,  finding  the  same  old  esprit  gaulois  alive  in 
Moliere,  called  him  an  *  infamous  histrion.'  Nor 
is  it  in  the  least  astonishing  that  a  parish  priest, 
and  later  the  Archbishop  of  Paris,  refused  to 
allow  Moliere's  body  to  be  buried  in  consecrated 
ground.  These  ecclesiastics  were  merely  keeping 
up  a  tradition  which  their  predecessors  had  estab- 
lished when  the  farce-makers,  indifferent  as  to  the 
morality  of  their  dramatis  personae,  were  charged 
with  undoing  the  work  of  the  Church.  There  is, 
indeed,  no  reason  to  suppose  that  the  old  farces 
increased  either  piety  or  goodness,  however  much 
they  may  have  amused  their  hearers  and  sharpened 
their  wits. 

He  who  seeks  to  build  a  history  of  manners 
out  of  such  material  must  be  wary  indeed;  for 
the  farces  display  a  perverted  interest  in  special 
aspects  of  vice  and  folly  in  the  lower  and  middle 
classes,  or  their  familiars,  rather  than  in  all  con- 
temporary life.  But  they  record  the  every-day 
language  of  their  time.  Without  them  to  help 
us,  we  should  not  know  a  wide  variety  of  oaths, 
[  xxvi  ] 


I NTRODUCTION 


slang,  saws,  superstitions,  and  so  forth;  had  the 
specimens  that  survive  been  lost,  the  habits  and 
every-day  thoughts  of  the  fourteenth,  fifteenth, 
and  early  sixteenth  centuries  would  be  even  further 
beyond  our  ken  than  now. 

The  old  farces  were  always  composed  in  octo- 
syllabic rime,  are  written  in  a  conversational  style, 
and  they  are  never  poetical.  They  are  for  the  most 
part  brief,  not  a  third  as  long  as  Patelin.  Some- 
times one  finds  a  neatly  constructed  plot,  and  in- 
genious situations  are  not  lacking;  but  in  general 
they  are  flimsily  constructed  and  seem  more  like 
dramatised  anecdotes  than  like  true  drama ;  natural 
motives  are  too  often  absent,  and  their  psychology 
is  not  so  accurate  as  that  which  our  modern  farces 
commonly  display,  yet  the  dialogue  js  often  lively 
and  produces  an  adequate  illusion./ 

From  what  has  been  said  it  need  not  be  sup- 
posed that  shallowness  was  universal ;  for  Villon 
knew  himself,  at  least,  and  embodied  his  wayward, 
passionate,  will-less  life  in  lyric  verse  which  for 
vividness  and  sincerity  surpasses  all  other  lyric 
poetry  written  in  his  time  or  in  the  Middle  Ages. 
He  is  the  most  gifted  poet  of  the  fifteenth  cen- 
tury, as  the  author  of  Patelin  is  its  most  gifted 
dramatist.  The  historian  Commines  was  another 
shrewd  observer  of  his  fellow  men,  and  these  are 
not  all.  Great,  too,  though  the  defects  of  the 
[  xxvii  ] 


Introductio 


farces  are,  they  show  a  keener  appreciation  of  re- 
ality and  a  greater  gift  of  natural  expression  than 
had  been  shown  by  any  other  form  of  medieval 
literature  composed  in  France,  save,  perhaps,  the 
realistic  passages  in  certain  nouvelles,  in  the  *  serious 
drama,'  in  Villon,  and  in  Adam  de  la  Hale. 

The  farces  must  have  arisen  pretty  early  in  the 
thirteenth  century ;  in  the  fourteenth  century,  and 
even  till  the  middle  of  the  fifteenth,  they  seem  to 
have  languished ;  for  farce-makers  could  not  thrive 
amid  war  and  waste.  The  relatively  prosperous 
times  that  followed  the  Hundred  Years'  War  were 
their  Golden  Age;  but  the  Renaissance,  with  its 
Plautus  and  Terence,  who  for  some  twelve  centu- 
ries had  been  preserved  by  monks  more  capable 
of  copying  manuscripts  than  of  understanding 
them,  brought  new  ideals.  Playwrights  began  to 
/  forsake  the  market-place  and  the  farces  grew  fewer 
and  fewer,  though  the  writing  of  them  never  wholly 
ceased.  When  they  lost  their  hold,  most  of  them 
perished ;  hardly  a  manuscript  is  left,  and  only 
a  few  were  chosen  when  the  early  printers  began 
to  search  for  entertaining  matter  amid  the  ruck  of 
the  Middle  Ages. 

Patelin  distinctly  belongs  to  the  genre,  but  in 

every  regard  it  excels  all  other  extant  farces.    The 

author  of  this  piece,  whoever  he  may  have  been 

and  wherever  he  may  have  lived,  was  a  genius,  and 

[  xxviii  ] 


Introduction 


when  he  wrote  it  he  was  inspired.  Remote  as  he 
must  ever  remain  from  us,  we  know  that  he  was 
not  remote  from  his  own  time.  He  catches  its  spirit 
and  embodies  that  spirit  in  forms  whose  first  words 
cast  the  spell  of  illusion  which  is  essential  to  all 
dramatic  art. 

Whether  the  author  of  Patelin  cared  deeply 
about  morals  is  an  unsolvable  riddle.  Michelet 
declares  somewhere  that  Patelin  is  the  'epic  of 
an  age  of  rogues  ' ;  unquestionably  rogues  are  its 
heroes  and  their  rascality  is  its  theme.  If  that 
*  practical'  monarch  Louis  XI*  ever  saw  Patelin 
performed  —  and  nothing  undemonstrable  is  more 
likely — how  keenly  he  must  have  relished  its  com- 
mon sense,  its  mirthful  and  remorseless  roguery ! 
We  may  imagine  his  laughter  as  he  saw  one  rascal 
outwit  another,  until  a  mere  lout,  a  *  sheep  in  cloth- 
ing,'outwits  them  all.  That  was  something  after  his 
own  heart.  We  need  not  regard  the  five  worthies 
of  our  farce  as  disciples  of  Louis  XI :  they  are 
more  than  that,  for  they  express  what  is  unloveable 
in  that  century  more  plainly  than  does  the  King. 
They  represent  in  several  distinct  and  ludicrous  a 
phases  the  poverty,  the  greed,  the  cynical  cunning,  \ 
the  selfishness,  and  the  grinning  depravity  charac-  | 
teristic  of  the  fifteenth  century,  at  least  in  France.  ^ 

*  See  Ernest  Renan's  essay  on  Patelin  in  his  Essais  de  morale 
et  de  critique,  1859. 

[  xxix  ] 


Introduction 


Patelin  is  a  shabby  pettifogger;  his  successful 
fellow  barristers  are  arrayed,  as  he  says,  in  silks 
and  satins,  de  camelos  . .  .  et  de  camocas ;  but  the 
apparel  is  nothing  :  the  lawyers  are  mostly  rogues. 
And  so  is  our  Judge :  he  cares  little  about  dealing 
out  justice  and  he  invites  Patelin  to  sup  with  him, 
though  that  lawyer  has  spent  a  Saturday  in  the 
stocks.  The  Draper  is  both  greedy  and  sly ;  the 
Shepherd  is  a  numbskull  with  a  highly  developed 
bump  of  villainy.  And  what  is  Guillemette  ?  A 
receiver  of  stolen  goods.  Not  one  of  these  types 
has  any  sense  of  right.  Their  morality,  as  Renan 
says,  is  to  succeed ;  their  greatest  weakness,  their 
only  absurdity,  is  to  be  outdone.  Philippe  de 
Commines  sums  up  their  ethics  in  a  maxim : 
*  Ceulx  qui  gaignent,'  says  he,  *  en  ont  tousjours 
I'honneur.' 

Patelin  scored  an  immense  success.  It  had  two 
sequels,  both  worthless,  and  was  often  quoted.  If 
that  merry  friar  Guillaume  Alexis  is  not  the  first  to 
allude,  by  citation,  to  our  farce,  the  earliest  known 
record  of  it  may  be  found  in  a  legal  document. 
This  document,  a  grant  of  pardon  issued  by 
Louis  XI  before  Easter,  1469,  recites  that  one 
Jean  de  Costes,  who  had  been  employed  in  the 
King's  chancellery,  was  drinking  one  day  with  sev- 
eral companions  at  an  inn  kept  by  Glaude  Sillon 
at  Tours.   After  supper  Jean  de  Costes  stretched 

[    XXX    ] 


Introduction 


himself  out  on  a  bench  by  the  fire,  saying,  *By  God, 
I  am  ill ! ' ;  and,  as  the  document  tells  us,  he 
addressed  these  words  to  the  wife  of  the  aforesaid 
Glaude  Sillon  and  said,  *  I  would  fain  sleep  here, 
and  not  go  back  to-day  to  my  lodgings.'  Here- 
upon the  aforesaid  Le  Danceur  [who  seems  to 
have  started  the  quarrel  in  which  he  was  killed] 
went  and  spoke  to  the  aforesaid  suppliant  as 
follows :  *  Jehan  de  Costes,  I  know  you  well ;  you 
fancy  to  play  Patelin  and  to  feign  illness,  because 
you  are  planning  to  sleep  here '  {Jehan  de  Costes, 
je  vous  cognoys  bien :  vous  cuidez  pateliner  et  faire 
du  malade,  pour  cuider  coucher  ceans). 

In  a  short  time  the  name  Patelin  had  become 
proverbial  and  the  Farce  of  Patelin  had  attained 
a  vogue  unparalleled  in  the  history  of  the  early 
stage  and  rarely  equalled  since.  Of  five  edi- 
tions printed  between  1485,  or  thereabouts,  and 
1500,  five  unique  exemplars  are  known  to  survive  ; 
several  other  editions  must  have  existed.  Two  or 
three  editions  published  shortly  after  1 500  are  also 
represented  by  only  one  exemplar ;  at  least  a  score 
appeared  during  the  sixteenth  century,  and  the 
popularity  of  our  farce  scarcely  waned  till  French 
playwrights  began,  as  we  have  seen,  to  be  ashamed 
of  what  had  once  delighted  the  common  folk, 
and  set  learnedly  about  imitating  Roman  comedy; 
but  the  esprit  gaulois  could  not  be  quelled,  and 
[  xxxi  ] 


Introduction 


we  find  it  once  more,  more  vigorous  than  ever  and 
lifted  out  of  its  wallow  of  lubricity,  though  not 
yet  angelically  pure,  in  the  comedies  of  Moliere. 

Patelin  is  not  the  starting-point  of  any  school, 
but  it  would  be  a  long  task  to  narrate  the  history 
of  its  influence  on  literature  in  and  out  of  France. 
Some  of  its  phrases  are  used  by  Guillaume  Alexis, 
Coquillart,  and  others.  In  1560  Estienne  Pas- 
quier,  having  read  and  reread  this  *  sample '  of  the 
old  farces,  declared  it  equal  to  any  Greek,  Latin, 
or  Italian  comedy.  Marot  had  no  doubt  read  it, 
and  Rabelais  quotes  it  again  and  again.  He  speaks 
of  the  *  noble  Patelin,'  who  was  evidently  a  rascal 
after  his  own  heart,  and  we  may  be  sure  that  Ra- 
belais's  famous  scene  between  Panurge  and  Panta- 
gruel  was  inspired  by  Patelin.  *  Epistemon  said, 
"  Parlez  vous  christian,  mon  ami,  ou  langaige  pate- 
linois  ?  "  '  (11,  9.) 

It  was  not  Rabelais,  however,  who  first  carried 
Patelin's  fame  across  the  Channel ;  for  not  later 
than  1 53  5,  and  probably  ten  years  earlier,  A  Hun- 
dred Mery  'Tales  and  ^icke  Answers  contained 
an  anecdote  *  Of  hym  that  payde  his  dette  with 
crienge  bea.*  *  In  1700  a  dull  dramatist  named 
Brueys  composed,  or,  to  speak  more  descriptively, 
he  manufactured  his  Patelin^  comedie,  compos ee  en 
trots  acteSy  avec  un  prologue^  et  trots  intermedeSy 
*  See  Notes  on  the  Text,  Note  xxxv. 
[  xxxii  ] 


Introduction 


mesles  de  declamations^  de  chants  et  de  danses :  Et 
representee  pour  la  premiere  fois  sans  Prologue  ^ 
sans  intermedes  le  4.  Juin  iyo6.* 

Had  Monsieur  de  Brueys  been  born  a  humorist, 
he  would  either  have  written  better  comedies,  or 
none.  With  Palaprat's  assistance,  the  abbe  pleased 
for  a  while ;  that  is  the  best  that  can  be  said  for 
him.  Brueys  and  his  contemporaries  liked  literary 
monsters.  They  borrowed  and  muddled,  very 
much  as  the  compilers  of  mysteries  had  done 
in  the  Middle  Ages.  Unfailingly  commonplace, 
Brueys  tells  his  readers  that  he  had  culled  from  the 
old  farce  as  one  might  gather  gold  from  a  dung- 
hill. We  need  not  wonder  that  the  abbe  decor- 
ated his  comedy  with  a  Prologue  wherein  some 
worn-out  deities  air  his  theories  of  the  drama.  Yet 
Brueys's  hybrid  succeeded,  and  gave  birth  in  its 
turn,  contra  naturam^  to  'The  Village  Lawyer,  the 
second  version  of  Patelin  to  be  made  in  England. 

This  curtain-raiser,  ascribed  without  evidence 
to  the  elder  Macready,t  was  performed  at  The 
Haymarket  in  1787.  The  Village  Lawyer,  whose 
hero  is  called  not  Patelin  but  Scout,  was  printed 

*  See  U  Avocat  Patelin.  Translated  by  S.  F.  G.  Whitaker, 
London,  1905  ;  reviewed  in  The  Evening  Post,  New  York, 
June  12,  1905,  and  in  The  Athena  urn,  London,  August  26, 
1905. 

t  See  the  Dictionary  of  National  Biograph^j,  vol.  xxxv,  p.  277. 
[  xxxiii  ] 


Introduction 


at  Dublin  in  1792,  having  been  received,  so  the 
title-page  declares,  with  *  Universal  Applause '  in 
London  and  in  Dublin. 

Was  this  little  piece  published,  without  regard 
for  its  author,  from  one  of  those  unsigned  manu- 
scripts which  actors  use  ?  Or  is  it  possible  that  the 
author  had  a  scrupulous  conscience  ?  Whatever 
the  truth  may  be,  'The  Village  Lawyer  is  by  no 
means  so  absurd  as  Brueys's  hotchpotch  of 
modernised  medieval  folk  and  pseudo-antique 
divinities. 

The  Village  Lawyer  was  performed  at  the  Park 
Theatre,  in  New  York  City,  in  November,  1801, 
and  again  in  1808.  The  elder  Jefferson  (1774- 
1 832)  *  played  the  part  of  Sheepface,  who  is  merely 
Thibaut  Agnelet  (or  *  Lambkin '),  in  his  second 
reincarnation.  In  1863  one  James  Maffitt,  a  pirate 
by  nature,  but  a  playwright  by  trade,  on  some 
marauding  voyage,  fell  upon  The  Village  Law- 
yer. Mrs.  Scout  and  her  daughter  Kate,  being 
no  longer  useful,  were  made  to  walk  the  plank. 
Scout,  known  in  other  days  as  Master  Pierre 
Patelin,  or  Lawyer  Patelin,  became  Benjamin 
Hardcrust.  Maffitt  was  thus  rid  of  any  necessity 
of  seeing  Kate  wedded  to  Charles,  the  son  of 

*  Jefferson  left  England  about  1795.    Probably  he  included 
The  Village  Lawyer  in  his  repertory  because  it  was  still  popu- 
lar. 
.  [  xxxiv  ] 


Introduction 


Snarl  (Brueys's  Guillaume),  and  he  needed  no 
more  than  a  week  or  so  to  shear  the  legal  epi- 
sode out  of  'The  Village  Lawyer. 

The  Mutton  Trial*  for  thus  Maffitt  named 
his  plagiary,  was  performed  by  four  members  of 
a  troop  of  minstrels,  at  the  American  Theatre, 
a  New  York  playhouse,  in  1863.  ^^^  ^^^t  of 
characters  was  as  follows  : 

Sheepface,  a  Shepherd  ....  Charles  White 
Benj.  Hardcrust,  a  Lawyer  .  .  Nelse  Seymour 
Old  Snarl,  a  Farmer  ....  Billy  Burke 
Justice James  Wamhold 

These  four  actors  were  probably  blackened  to 
look  like  negroes,  and  perhaps  they  remained  so 
throughout  the  long  and  varied  performance  in 
which  The  Mutton  Trial  vf2iS  but  an  interlude  last- 
ing *  twenty  minutes.'  That  they  imitated  negro 
manners  or  negro  speech  is  inconceivable. 

A  notion  as  to  the  quality  of  Maffitt's  style  may 

*  The  Mutton  Trial  |  Jn  Ethiopian  Sketch,  in  Two  Scenes  | 
By  James  Maffitt  \  Arranged  by  Charles  White  \  The  Cele- 
brated Ethiopian  Comedian  |  Author  of  |  Magic  Penny  |  Jolly 
Millers  [here  follows  a  list  of  two  score  pieces]  etc. ,  etc.  |  As 
first  Produced  at  the  American  Theatre,  No.  444.  Broadway  | 
New  York  |  etc. ,  etc.  A  copy  of  this  rare  farce,  whose  exist- 
ence was  made  known  to  me  by  Mr.  Brander  Matthews,  is 
preserved  at  the  Library  of  Congress,  where  it  was  deposited 
to  obtain  copyright  in  1874. 

r  XXXV  ] 


Introduction 


be  derived  from  the  following  citations.  '  Well/ 
says  Hardcrust,  *  here  I  am,  Lawyer  Hardcrust, 
with  scarcely  enough  money  in  my  clothes  to  buy 
a  meal  of  victuals.'  And  on  advising  Sheepface 
how  to  outwit  the  law,  Hardcrust  speaks  as  fol- 
lows: *  Well,  now  understand  my  plan.  Any  ques- 
tion asked  you  by  the  Judge,  the  Court  {sic),  or 
the  jury  (sic),  you  must  answer  it  in  the  language 
of  the  old  ewes  when  they  call  their  young.'  As  in 
Tbe  Village  Lawyer,  Sheepface  responds,  *  That  is 
my  mother  tongue.'  In  The  Village  Lawyer,  when 
Scout  attempts  to  collect  his  fee  but  gets  nothing 
save  baa!,  he  cries  out  angrily,  *What,  again! 
braved  by  a  Mongril  Cur,  a  bleating  Bellweather, 
a  — ' ;  in  the  American  piece  Hardcrust  exclaims, 
^  What !  am  I  to  be  outwitted  by  a  country  weth- 
erbuU  ! '  Further  examples  from  Maffitt's  plagiary 
would  only  serve  to  show  that  the  original  Patelin, 
cheapened  by  Brueys,  and  afterwards  by  an  un- 
known British  hack,  fell  almost  to  the  level  of 
a  buffoon,  on  his  third  and  final  reincarnation. 

To  retell  a  long  story  In  few  words,  the  farce  of 
Patelin  came  into  being  in  France  before  1469,  and 
assuredly  it  owes  nothing  to  the  story  of  Mak,  the 
Thief  in  what  is  called  *  The  Shepherds'  Play,'  in 
the  'Towneley  Mysteries ;  its  origin  is  lost  in  the 
same  darkness  as  envelops  its  author.  Patelin  is 
[  xxxvi  ] 


Introduction 


wholly  French  and  wholly  medieval ;  it  alludes  to 
nothing* classic,'  and  has  nothing  whatever  to  do 
with  ancient  comedy.  Its  popularity  was  immense  ; 
by  1520  it  had  been  freely  translated  into  Latin  by 
Connibert ;  by  1535  it  was  known  in  England  (per- 
haps, too,  in  Germany) ;  about  1787  some  name- 
less British  playwright  borrowed  or  stole  from 
Brueys's  hotchpotch  (1700)  all  the  plot  and  many 
details  o{  'The  Village  Lawyer ;  about  1863  James 
Majffitt  plundered  T'he  Village  Lawyer  and  called 
his  booty  T'he  Mutton  'Trial ;  this  final  version  of 
Patelin  was  performed  by  *  Ethiopian '  minstrels 
in  New  York  City,  some  four  centuries  after  the 
original  farce  had  first  appeared  in  France. 

No  other  farce  written  in  the  Middle  Ages,  and 
naturally  no  later  comedy,  can  claim  so  long  and 
varied  a  history  ;  yet  in  a  mere  sketch  not  half  that 
history  can  be  told,  but  the  popularity  of  this  farce 
is  no  puzzle:  its  author  hit  upon  an  extraordin- 
arily clever  plot,*  and,  unlike  his  contemporaries, 

*  This  plot,  like  most  others,  was  doubtless  not  ♦  created. ' 
As  early  as  1370,  or  thereabouts,  Eustache  Deschamps  had 
composed  the  so-called  Farce  de  Mestre  Trubert,  a  dramatic 
satire  aimed  at  pettifoggers,  or,  one  might  say,  at  lawyers  in  gen- 
eral ;  for  the  Bar  was  in  ill  repute  throughout  the  Middle  Ages. 

Trubert  is  hoodwinked  by  his  client  Entroignart  (  —  Cheat- 
em)  ,  who  asks  his  advice  about  the  thett  of  an  almond,  a  trifling 
fact  that  had  led  to  serious  consequences.  Having  got  his  re- 
tainer, Trubert,  not  altogether  unlike  Patelin,  proceeds  to  enumer- 
[  xxxvii  ] 


Introduction 


he  had  the  genius  to  tell  his  fable  dramatically  in 
charming  verse.  Like  a  precocious  child  that  has 
aroused  laughter  by  some  show  of  wit,  he  repeats 
his  jests  until  they  begin  to  stale;  but  his  insight  is 
keen,  and  his  characters  are  drawn  so  firmly  that 
each  is  a  type,  possible  in  nature,  but  nowhere  else 
to  be  found  in  literature.  Although  close  examin- 
ation reveals  more  than  one  inconsistency,  the 
illusion  that  he  creates  betokens  a  rare  imaginative 
power,  a  clear  vision,  and  so  objective  a  portrayal 
of  that  vision  that  the  author  nowhere  gives 
a  genuine  clue  as  to  his  own  personality.  We  may 
agree  with  Renan  in  thinking  the  author  o(  Patelin 
a  low  and  heartless  jester;  but  he  betrays  nothing, 
except,  perhaps,  a  tendency  to  delight  us  with 
humour  wantonly  cruel ;  he  is  not  a  moraliser  but 
a  dramatist,  and  the  best  dramas  are  surely  those 
that  seem  to  tell  the  most  about  other  men  and 
the  least  about  their  authors. 

ate  some  of  the  many  wiles  by  which  he  knows  how  to  evade 
the  law.  He  then  suggests  a  game  of  dice  which  results  in  his 
losing  his  money  and  his  clothes.  Similar  stories  about  the  Bar 
were  popular,  and  it  is  likely  that  the  author  ol  Patelin,  perhaps 
himself  a  lawyer,  built  his  legal  episode  on  a  like  anecdote,  and 
that  he  welded  it  to  the  story  of  some  scalawag  who  had  cheated 
a  creditor  by  shamming  illness  or  insanity,  a  frequent  occurrence 
in  real  life.  See  vol.  vii,  pp.  155-174,  and  vol.  xi,  pp.  293 
and  294,  of  the  works  of  Deschamps,  in  the  edition  published 
by  the  Societe  des  Anciens  Textes  fran9ais. 
[  xxxviii  ] 


THE  FARCE  OF 
MASTER  PIERRE  PATELIN 


Master  Pierre  Patelin 

SCENE  I 

{At  Lawyer  Patelin  s  dwelling) 

Patelin,  Guillemette 

Master  Pierre  begins 

BY  Saint    Mary !    Guillemette,  for  all  my 
pains  to  pick  up  something,  or  bag  a  little 
pelf,  not  a  penny  can  we  save.    Now,  I 
have  seen  the  time  when  I  had  clients. 

Guillemette 

AjQy  true  enough  !  I  was  thinking  of  the  tune 
your  lawfolk  are  warbling.  No,  you  are  not 
thought  so  able  by  any  manner  of  means  as  you 
used  to  be.  I  've  seen  the  day  when  everybody 
must  have  you  to  win  his  suit ;  now  you  're  called 
everywhere  the  Briefless  Barrister. 
[3] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  [as  if  he  had  not  heard~\ 
Again,  I  don't  say  it  to  brag,  but  in  the  circuit 
wh'^'-e  we  hold  our  sessions  there  's  no  one  abler, 
except  the  Mayor, 

Guillemette  [naive/y] 
Aye,  but  he  has  read  the  Conjuring-book,  and 
he  studied  a  great  while  to  be  a  scholar. 

Patelin 

Whose  case  ever  lags,  if  I  set  hand  to  it  ?  And 
yet  I  never  learnt  my  letters,  save  a  little,  but  I'll 
venture  to  say  that  I  can  chant  by  the  book  with 
our  priest  as  well  as  if  I  'd  been  as  long  in  school 
as  Charlemaine  in  Spain  ! 

Guillemette 
What  is  that  worth  to  us  ?    Not  a  rap  !    We  're 
all  but  starved ;  our  clothes  are  downright  sieves, 
and  there  's  no  telling  where  new  ones  are  to  come 
from.    Ha !  a  fig  for  all  you  know  ! 

Patelin 

Tush,  tush  !    Upon  my  conscience,  if  I  care  to 

set  my  wits  at  work,  I  shall  find  a  way  to  get  some 

finery.    Please  God,  we  shall  see  better  days  and 

be  up  again  in  no  time.    Oh,  God's  deed  is  done 

[4] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

with  speed.    If  it  behooves  me  to  stick  to  business, 
they  '11  not  be  able  to  find  my  peer. 

Guillemette 
Aye,  that  they  will  not !    At  cheating  you  *re 
a  masterhand. 

Patelin 

At  regular  law !  by  the  Lord  who  made  me ! 

Guillemette 
Upon  my  word,  at  gulling,  you  mean.  Oh, 
I  know  what  I  am  talking  about ;  for,  to  tell  the 
truth,  though  you  've  neither  education  nor  com- 
mon sense,  you  are  reckoned  about  the  greatest 
slyboots  in  the  whole  parish. 

Patelin 
Nobody  is  so  good  at  handling  cases. 

Guillemette 
Heaven  save  me  !   You  mean  at  plucking  gulls. 
They  say  so  anyhow. 

Patelin 
So  they  do  of  those  who  sport  their  silks  and 
satins,  and  talk  of  being  barristers ;  but  they  're 
not !    Enough    of   this    prattle :     I  'm    going   to 
market. 

[5] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette  \astonished~\ 
To  market? 

Patelin  [mimicking  her~\ 

Yes,  to  market,  my  gentle  pricer.  Now,  what 
if  I  buy  a  strip  of  cloth,  or  some  other  trifle  for 
household  use  ?  .  .  .  Our  clothes  are  nothing  but 
rags. 

Guillemette 
You  have  n't  a  copper.    What  can  you  do  there  ? 

Patelin   [laying  his  forefinger  on  his  nose  and 
winking  craftily\ 

That 's  telling  !  If  I  fail,  my  dear,  to  fetch  you 
cloth  enough  for  both  of  us,  and  to  spare,  then 
I  'm  a  fibber !  [Playfully  surveying  Guillemette.~\ 
What  colour  suits  you  best  ?  A  greenish  grey  ? 
Or  Brussels  cloth  ?  Or  some  other  sort  ?  Tell 
me  that. 

Guillemette 
Whatever  you  can  get.    Borrowers  must  not  be 
choosers. 

Patelin  [counting  on  his  finger sl^ 
For  you,  two  ells  and  a  half,  and  for  me,  three, 
or  rather,  four.    That  makes  .  .  . 
[6] 


WWrnjEZUDLX 


pottcquefquepalnequciemeftc 
aca6a(fernarama(ftc 
nouettepouoneciet)  ama(fei: 

Patelin,  counting  on  his  fingers 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guilkmette 

Who  the  mischief  will  trust  you  with  this  cloth  ? 
You  are  counting  your  chickens  before  they  *re 
hatched. 

Patelin 
What  do  you  care  ?    They  *11  trust  me,  beyond 
a  doubt,  —  and  be  paid  on  Doomsday ;  for  it 
won't  be  sooner. 

Guillemette 

Go  along,  my  lamb ;  by  now  somebody  else 
may  have  it  on. 

Patelin  [almost  to  himself ,  as  he  walks  slowly  away~\ 

I  will  buy  either  grey  or  green,  and  for  an  un- 
dergarment, Guillemette,  I  want  three  quarters,  or 
a  whole  ell  of  fine  dark  goods. 

Guillemette  [shaking  her  head~\ 

God  help  me !  so  you  do.  Be  off  with  you  ! 
[Callings  as  he  disappears.~\  And  don't  forget  your 
dram,  if  you  can  come  by  it  for  nothing ! 

Patelin 
Take  care  of  everything !  [ExitJ] 

[8] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette  {giving  vent  to  her  excitement  with  an 
exclamation  half  oath ^  half  sigh~\ 

What  merchant  .  .  .  ?    \Brightening.~\    If  he 
'only  might  be  stark  blind  ! 


SCENE    II 

[At  the  shop  of  Guillaume  JoceaulmCy  Draper) 

Patelin,  The  Draper 

Patelin  \_peering  into  the  Draper's  shop~\ 
Not  there  ?  .  .  .  I  have  my  doubts.  .  .  .  Aye, 
by  Saint  Mary,  so  he  is.  He  's  fussing  with  his 
goods.  \JVhile  Patelin  is  reconnoitring,  the  Draper 
emerges  and  lays  several  rolls  of  goods  on  his  counter, 
^heny  on  looking  up,  he  spies  the  Lawyer ,  who  greets 
him  with  a  beguiling  smile. ~\  My  worthy  sir,  God 
bless  you ! 

Guillaume  Joceaulme,  Draper 
And  give  you  joy  ! 

Patelin  [leaning  his  hands  on  the  counter"] 
I  have  been  really  longing  to  see  you,  Guil- 
laume.  How  is  your  health  ?   You  're  feeling  tip- 
top, eh? 

[9] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Draper 
Aye,  that  I  am  ! 

Patelin  \holdmg  out  his  hand"] 
Here  !  your  fist !    How  goes  it  with  you  ? 

The  Draper 
Why,  first  rate,  really  —  and  yours  to  command. 
....  And  how  are  you  ? 

Patelin  \_giving  the  Draper  a  friendly  clap  on  the 
shoulder~\ 

By  the  Apostle  Saint  Peter,  your  humble  serv- 
ant is  as  happy  as  a  lark  ...  So  you  're  feeling 
merry,  eh  ? 

The  Draper 

To  be  sure.  But  merchants,  you  must  know, 
can't  always  have  their  way. 

Patelin 

How  is  business  ?  It  yields  enough,  I  trust,  to 
keep  the  pot  a-boiling  ? 

The  Draper 
Afore  Heaven,  my  good  sir,  I  scarcely  know. 
\_Imitating  the  cluck  of  a  driver  to  his  horse.']    It 's 
always  gee  up  !  go  along  !    [He  sighs.~\ 
[  10] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  [in  a  reminiscent  revery] 
Ah,  he  was  a  knowing  man  !  —  your  father  was, 
I  mean.  God  rest  his  soul !  [Scanning  the  Draper 
with  amazement.^  When  I  look  at  you,  I  can't 
believe  I  'm  not  looking  at  him  !  What  a  good 
merchant  he  was  !  and  clever  ?  .  .  .  [Pf^aving  his 
hand  in  such  a  way  as  to  suggest  the  almost  limitless 
ability  of  the  elder  Joceaulme.^  I  swear,  your  face  is 
as  like  his  as  a  regular  painting.  ...  If  God  ever 
took  pity  on  any  being,  may  he  grant  your  father 
his  soul's  pardon  !  [T'akes  off  his  hat  and  glances 
piously  toward  heaven.  1'he  Draper  follows  suit. 2 

The  Draper  [sanctimoniously^ 

Amen !  Through  his  mercy !  And  ours,  too, 
when  it  shall  please  him  !   [Both  replace  their  hats.'\ 

Patelin  [with  a  touch  of  melancholy~\ 

My  faith  !  Many  a  time  and  most  copiously  he 
foretold  me  the  days  that  we  are  come  to.  Again 
and  again  the  memory  has  come  back  to  me. 
[After  a  slight  pause.']  Then,  too,  he  was  deemed 
one  of  the  good  .  .  . 

The  Draper  [interrupting  Patelin  s  reminiscences  by 
offering  him  a  seat] 

Do  sit  down,  sir.    It 's  high  time  I  asked  you 
to  [self-reproachful'] ,  but  it  was  just  like  me  to  forget. 
[  II  ] 


Master    Pierre    Pateli: 


Patelin  [as  if  anything  concerning  his  own  welfare 
were  of  no  importance^ 

Tut,  tut,  man  !  I 'm  comfortable.  .  .  .  Reused 
to  .  .  .  [Another  interruption  by  the  Draper ,  who^ 
in  his  zeal  to  show  good  manners  to  a  prospective 
customer,  leans  over  his  counter  as  far  as  he  can, 
grasps  Patelin  by  the  shoulders,  and  endeavours  to 
force  him  to  sit  down.J^ 

I'he  Draper 
Now,  really  you  must  be  seated. 

Patelin  [yielding] 

Gladly.  [A  short  pause,  after  which  Patelin 
blithely  resumes  his  yarn.]  Oh,  you  shall  see  what 
wonders  he  told  me  !  .  .  .  I  '11  take  my  oath  !  in 
ears,  nose,  mouth,  eyes,  —  no  child  was  ever  so 
like  his  father.  [Pointing.]  That  dimpled  chin  ! 
Why,  it 's  you  to  a  dot !  And  if  anybody  told 
your  mother  that  you  were  not  your  father's  son, 
he  'd  be  hard  up  for  a  quarrel.  I  really  cannot 
imagine  how  ever  Nature  among  her  works  made 
two  so  similar  faces.  Each  marked  like  the  other  ! 
Why  look  !  If  you  had  both  been  spat  against  a 
wall  in  the  self-same  manner  and  in  one  array,  you 
would  n't  differ  by  a  hair.  But,  sir,  good  Laurentia, 
your  step-aunt,  is  she  still  living  ? 

[  12] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

1'he  Draper  \mystified~\ 
Of  course  she  is. 

Patelin  [rising^ 

How  comely  she  seemed  to  me,  and  tall,  and 
straight,  and  full  of  graces  !  .  .  .  Od's  dear  mother  ! 
you  take  after  her  in  figure,  as  if  they  had  copied 
her  in  snow.  No  family  hereabouts,  I  think,  comes 
up  to  yours  for  likenesses.  The  more  I  see  you, 
.  .  .  Bless  my  soul !  [Pointing  to  a  mirror^ 
Look  at  yourself.  You  're  looking  at  your  father  ! 
\Clapping  Joceaulme  on  the  back  with  jovial  famil- 
iarity.'] You  resemble  him  closer  than  a  drop  of 
water,  I  '11  be  bound !  .  .  .  What  a  mettlesome 
blade  he  was  !  the  worthy  man,  —  and  entrusted 
his  wares  to  whoever  wished  them.  Heaven  for- 
give him  !  He  always  used  to  laugh  so  heartily 
with  me.  Would  to  God  the  worst  man  in  the 
world  resembled  him  !  There  'd  be  no  robbery 
or  stealing,  as  there  is.  [Feeling  a  piece  of  cloth.'] 
How  well  made  this  cloth  is  !  how  smooth  it  is, 
and  soft,  and  nicely  fashioned ! 

'The  Draper  [proudly] 
I  had  it  made  to  order  from  the  wool  of  my 
own  flock. 

Patelin  [overflowing  with  admiration] 
You  don't  say  so  !    What  a  manager  you  are ! 
[  13  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

\_J ocular ly.'\  It 's  the  pater  all  over  again.  Blood 
will  tell !  .  .  .  Ijiwestruck.l^  You  are  always, 
always  busy. 

1'he  Draper  [solemnly] 
Why  not  ?    To  live,  a  body  must  be  careful  and 
put  up  with  trials.    \_He  looks  at  Patelin^  who  nods 
assent.] 

Patelin  [handling  another  piece  of  goods'] 
Was  this  one  dyed  in  the  wool  ?   It 's  as  strong 
as  Cordovan  leather. 

1'he  Draper  [showing  off  the  weave  of  his  goods] 
That  is  good  cloth  of  Rouen  make,  and  well 
fulled,  I  promise  you. 

Patelin 
Now,  upon  my  word,  that  *s  caught  me ;  for  I 
had  no  thought  of  getting  cloth,  when  I  came  ;  by 
George,  I  had  n't.  I  'd  laid  aside  some  four  score 
crowns  for  an  investment;  but  twenty  or  thirty  of 
them  will  fall  to  you ;  I  see  that  plainly,  for  the 
colour  is  so  pleasing  it  gives  me  an  ache.  [Sighs, 
as  if  feeling  a  rapture  akin  to  pain.] 

The  Draper  [eagerly] 
Crowns,  you  say  ?    Now  can  it  be  that  your 
borrowers  would  take  an  odd  sum  ? 
[   H  ] 


TDtactftttop 

Ixdtaffitt 
j0(i  Sou^nefcattee 

commmtttm^tftmc^tA 
tre|loutfe0effatfe|lpeci 
reft  pmpat  (a  gmnt  ftoiffute 


//  'f  too  much  I 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
Why,  yes,  if  I  chose.  It 's  no  odds  to  me  what 
sort  of  money  's  paid.  [Picking  up  the  cloth  again.~\ 
What  kind  of  goods  is  this  ?  .  .  .  Really,  the  more 
I  see  it,  the  worse  I  dote.  I  must  have  a  coat  of 
that,  —  to  be  brief,  —  and  another  for  my  wife,  as 
well. 

'The  Draper 

Cloth  costs  like  holy  oil.  You  shall  have  some, 
if  you  like.  Ten  or  twenty  francs  are  sunk  so 
quickly ! 

Patelin 

I  don't  care :  give  me  my  money's  worth. 
[Whispering  in  the  Draper  s  ear.~\  I  know  of  an- 
other coin  or  two  that  nobody  ever  got  a  smell  of. 

The  Draper 
Now  you  *re  talking !    That  would  be  capital ! 

Patelin 
In  a  word,  I  'm  hot  for  this  piece,  and  have 
some  I  must. 

The  Draper 

Well  then,  first  you  must  make  up  your  mind 
how  much  you  want.  To  begin  with,  though  you 
had  n't  a  brass  farthing,  the  whole  pile  is  at  your 
service. 

[  i6  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  \_gazing  rather  absent-mindedly  at  the  c/oth^ 
I  know  that  well,  thank  you. 

1'he  Draper 

You  might  like  some  of  this  sky-coloured 
stuff? 

Patelin 

First,  how  much  is  a  single  ell  to  cost?  \0n 
saying  this,  Patelin  holds  up  a  penny  so  that  the 
Draper  may  get  a  good  look  at  it.'\  Here  is  a  penny 
to  seal  the  bargain  in  God's  name;  God's  share 
shall  be  paid  first :  that  stands  to  reason,  and  let 
us  do  nothing  without  calling  him  to  witness. 
[Piously  doffs  his  hat,  strides  solemnly  to  a  box  set  up 
in  the  market-place  for  receiving  God^  s  pennies,  drops 
the  coin  in,  and  returns  to  the  Draper 7\ 

'J'he  Draper 
Upon  my  word,  you  speak  like  a  g  o  o  d  man, 
and  I  'm  glad  to  hear  you.    Shall  I  set  the  very 
lowest  price  ? 

Patelin 
Yes. 

1'he  Draper  [decisively"] 

It  will  cost  you  four  and  twenty  pence  an  ell. 

Patelin 
Go     to!     Four    and     twenty     pence! 
Heaven  save  the  mark  ! 

[  17  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

^he  Draper  [laying  his  hand  on  his  hearf\ 
By  this  soul !  it  cost  me  every  whit  of  that,  and 
I  must  lose  nothing  by  the  sale. 

Patelin 
^   Excuse  me!  it's  too  much. 

'The  Draper 
You  'd  never  believe  how  cloth  has  risen  !    This 
winter  the  live-stock  all  perished  in  the  great  frost. 

Patelin 
Twenty  pence  !  twenty  pence  ! 

The  Draper 
And  I  swear  I  will  have  my  price.  Wait  till 
Saturday  and  you  shall  see  what  it 's  worth.  Wool 
on  the  fleece,  of  which  there  used  to  be  a  plenty, 
cost  me  on  Saint  Maudeleyne's  day  eight  good 
blanks,  —  my  oath  on  it,  —  for  wool  I  once  got 
for  half  as  much. 

Patelin 
Od's  blood  !    Then  I  will  buy,  without  further 
haggling.    Come,  measure  off! 

The  Draper 
And  pray  how  much  must  you  have  ? 
[  i8  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
That  is  easy  to  answer.    What  is  the  width  ? 

'The  Draper 
Brussels  width. 

Patelin  \as  if  to  himself ^  and  cocking  his  head  with- 
out looking  at  the  Draper.  On  saying  *  she  's 
tally'  he  makes  a  gesture  as  if  he  were  laying 
his  hand  on  the  head  of  an  imaginary  Guille- 
mette'l 

For  m  e,  three  ells,  and  for  her  (she  's  tall), 
two  and  a  half.  In  all,  six  ells  .  .  .  Why,  no  it 
is  n't !    What  a  dunce  I  am  ! 

'J'he  Draper 
There  wants  but  half  an  ell  to  make  the  six. 

Patelin 
Give  me  the  even  six,  then.    I  need  a  hat  as 
well. 

I'he  Draper  \_pointing  to  the  other  end  of  his  strip 
of  cloth~\ 

Take  hold  there.  We  '11  measure.  Here  they 
are,  and  no  scrimping.  [He  measures."]  One,  .  .  . 
and  two, .  .  .  and  three,  .  .  .  and  four, . . .  and  five, 
.  .  .  and  six ! 

[19  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
Saint    Peter's    paunch  !     Measured    fair    and 
square ! 

The  Draper  \Jooking  at  Patelin^  then  turning  his 
ell  in  the  other  direction.   Naively\ 
Shall  I  measure  back  again  ? 

Patelin  [with  cheerful  disdain\ 

Oh,  h no  !  In  selling  goods  there's  always 

a  little  gain  or  loss.    How  much  does  it  all  amount 
to? 

The  Draper 
Let  us  see.    At  four  and  twenty  pence,  each, 
—  for  the  six  ells,  nine  francs. 

Patelin  \aside~\ 
Hm  !  Here  goes !  \To  the  Draper.']  Six  crowns  ? 

The  Draper 

So  help  me!    Yes. 

Patelin 

Now,  sir,  will  you  trust  me  for  them  ?  .  .  until 
anon,  when  you  come  ?  \The  Draper  shows  symp- 
toms of  suspicion.]  Nay,  'trust'  is  not  the  word, 
for  you  shall  get  your  crowns  at  my  door,  in  gold, 
or,  if  you  like,  in  change. 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Draper  [ungraciously^ 
Oh  thunder  !  that 's  off  my  road. 

Patelin  \_with  playful  irony"] 
By   my  lord  Saint  Giles,  now  you  're  telling 
gospel  truth  !    Off  your  road  !    That  *s  it !    You 
are  never  ready  to  drink  at  my  house,  but  this  is 
the  time  you  shall. 

The  Draper 

Good  Lord  !  I  scarcely  do  anything  but  drink  ! 
\_After  a  moment's  hesitation.]  I  '11  come,  but  let 
me  tell  you  it 's  bad  policy  to  give  credit  on  a  first 
sale. 

Patelin 
What  if  I  pay  for  it,  not  in  silver  or  copper, 
but  in  good  yellow  coin  ?    [Craftily.]    Oho  !  and 
you  must  have  a  bite  of  that  goose  my  wife  is 
roasting ! 

The  Draper  [aside] 

The  man  drives  me  mad.  [Aloud.]  Go  on  ! 
Away !  I  will  follow  you  then,  and  bring  the 
cloth. 

Patelin  [nimbly  seizing  the  bundle  of  goods] 
Nothing  of  the  sort !    How  will  it  burden  me  ? 
Not  a  whit,  beneath  my  dbow  .  .  so. 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

^he  Draper  [trying  to  recover  his  property] 

No,  indeed,  sir  !  it  would  look  better  for  me  to 
bring  it. 

Patelin  [tucking  the  cloth  into  his  long  gown] 
I  '11  be  hanged  if  you  go  to  such  pains !  See 
how  snug  it  lies,  here,  under  my  elbow.  What 
a  jolly  hump  it  will  give  me  !  Ah !  now  it 's  all 
right !  [JVith  mock  hilarity.]  We  '11  have  a  fling 
before  you  leave. 

"The  Draper 

I  beg  you,  hand  over  my  money  as  soon  as  I  've 
arrived. 

Patelin 

I  will  that,  and  by  gracious  I  '11  see  to  it  you 
eat  heartily.  I  'd  be  sorry  to  have  anything  about 
me  to  pay  with  now.  [Very  archly.]  At  least  you 
will  come  and  try  my  wine.  When  your  late 
father  went  by  my  house  he  used  to  sing  out, 
*  Hullo,  old  pal ! ',  or,  *  What 's  the  good  word?', 
or,  *  How  do  you  do  ? '  But  you  don't  care  a  straw 
for  poor  folk,  you  rich  men  ! 

'J'he  Draper  [flattered  but  deprecatory] 
Oh,  now,  I  say  !  it 's  we  who  are  poorer  .  .  . 

[22    ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  \Jaughing  incredulously^ 
Whew !     Well,    good-bye,    good-bye !     Turn 
up  soon  where  I  told  you,  and  we  '11  have  a  good 
drink,  you  can  count  on  that. 

^he  Draper 

I  '11  do  so.    Go  ahead,  then,  and  see  that  I  get 
gold  !    [Patelin  starts  homeward.'] 


SCENE   III 

{In  the  market-place) 

Patelin 

Gold!  To  think  of  it!  Gold!  The  devil!  I 
hit  the  nail  on  the  head  that  time  !  [Overcome 
by  a  sense  of  immense  absurdity.]  No !  gold  !  I  'd 
see  him  hanged.  [Chuckling.]  Pshaw  !  He  sold  to 
me  not  at  my  price,  but  at  his  own  ;  he  shall  be 
paid,  however,  at  mine.  He  must  have  gold  ;  he 
shall  get  it — in  the  sweet  bye  and  bye!  Would 
he  might  run  without  stopping  till  he  is  paid ! 
By  Saint  John,  he  'd  travel  further  than  from 
here  to  Pampeluna  !  [Enters  an  alley  and  disap- 
pears.] 

i  23  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

SCENE   IF 

{At  the  Draper  s  shop) 

"The  Draper. 

Those  crowns  he  's  going  to  pay  me  sha'n't 
get  a  peep  at  sun  or  moon  this  year,  unless  they  're 
stolen  from  me.  It  takes  two  to  make  a  bargain. 
That  trickster  is  a  big  gull  to  buy  at  four  and 
twenty  pence  an  ell  cloth  not  worth  twenty  ! 


SCENE    V 

{At  Pateliris.  Guillemette  is  sitting  near  the  window 
and  facing  it,  so  as  to  get  all  the  light  that  en- 
ters through  its  small  and  somewhat  murky 
panes.  On  her  lap  lies  a  garment  which  she  is 
patching.  Presently  the  door  is  softly  opened 
and  Patelin  looks  in.  Seeing  that  Guillemette^ s 
back  is  turned,  and  that  she  is  unaware  of  his 
presence,  he  steals  toward  her,  grinning  as  he 
thinks  what  a  surprise  she  is  about  to  get. 
Suddenly,  when  he  is  quite  close,  she  hears  him 
and  turns  round  with  a  start.  'Then  Patelin 
begins  to  speak,  archly  and  in  a  tone  of  triumph. 

Patelin,  Guillemette 
[   24] 


♦ 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
Have  I  some? 

Guillemette  [startle^/] 
Some  what  ? 

Patelin 
What  ever  became  of  that  old  gown  of  yours  ? 

Guillemette 
Much  need  there  is  of  telling !    What  will  you 
do  with  it  ? 

Patelin 
Nothing !  nothing  !    Have  I   some?...  . 
I  told  you  so  !   Is  this  the  cloth  ?    \_He  whips  the 
roll  of  goods  from  under  his  gown  and  flaunts  it  in 
the  face  of  the  astounded  Guillemette.~\ 

Guillemette 
Holy  Mother  !  Now,  as  I  hope  to  live,  whose 
chest  did  that  come  from  ?    \A  little  frightened.'] 
Heaven  !    what  scrape   have  we  got  into   now  ? 
Dear  !  dear  !  and  who  's  to  pay  for  it  ? 

Patelin 
Who,  you  ask  ?    By  Saint  John,  it 's  paid  for. 
[25  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  chap  who  sold  me  that  is  n't  crazy,  my  pet,  oh, 
no  !  May  I  be  hanged  by  the  neck  if  he  's  not 
well  fleeced.  The  rascally  curmudgeon  has  caught 
it  across  the  bum. 

Guillemette 
But  how  much  is  it  to  cost  ? 

Patelin 

Cost?   Nothing!  it's  paid  for.    No  need  of 
fretting  over  that. 

Guillemette 
Paid  for?    How?    You  hadn't  a  farthing. 

Patelin 
Oh  yes,  I  had.    I  had  a  penny. 

Guillemette  [ironically'] 

Oh,  very  fine  !   Fie  !  You  swore  to  pay,  or  you 

gave  a  note  of  hand.    That  is  how  you  came  by  it ! 

And  when  the  note  falls  due  they  '11  come  and 

seize  our  things  and  carry  off  everything  we  own. 

Patelin  [reassuringly] 
Upon  my  word,  I  gave  but  a  penny  for  it  all. 

Guillemette 

Benedicite  Maria  !    A  penny  ?    Impossible  ! 
[26  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  \Jeaning  toward  her\ 
You  may  pluck  out  this  eye,  if  he  got  more,  or 
if  he  gets  more,  bawl  though  he  may. 

Guillemette 
But  who  is  he,  anyhow  ? 

Patelin 
A  numbskull  called  Guillaume,  whose  surname 
is  Joceaulme  ;  since  you  must  know. 

Guillemette 
But  how  came  you  to  get  it  for  a  penny  ?   What 
was  your  game  ? 

Patelin 
It  was  for  God's-penny  ;  and  yet,  had  I  said, 
*  Let 's  bind  the  bargain  with  a  drink,'  I  'd  have 
kept  my  penny.  Anyhow,  'twas  well  worked. 
God  and  he  shall  share  that  penny,  if  they  care 
to ;  for  it  is  all  they  shall  get,  no  matter  how 
they  carry  on. 

Guillemette 
How  came  he  to  trust  you  ?  he  's  such  a  surly 
customer. 

Patelin 
Dash  me  if  I  did  n't  make  him  out  such  a  noble 
lord  that  he  almost  gave  it  me.    I  told  him  what 
[  27  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

a  jewel  his  late  father  was.  *  Ah,  brother,'  says  I, 
*what  good  stock  you  come  of!  No  family  here- 
abouts,' says  I,  *  compares  with  yours  for  virtues,' 
but  drat  me  !  what  riff-raff!  The  most  ill-tempered 
rabble,  I  suppose,  in  all  this  kingdom.  '  Guil- 
laume,  my  friend,'  says  I,  'what  a  likeness  you 
do  bear  your  good  father  !  and  in  every  feature  ! ' 
God  wot  how  I  heaped  it  on  !  And  meanwhile 
I  interlarded  something  about  woollens.  'And 
then,'  says  I,  '  heavens  !  how  kind  he  was  about 
trusting  folks  with  his  wares  !  and  so  meekly  ! 
You  're  he,'  says  I, '  his  spitten  image  ! '  Yet  you 
might  have  hauled  the  teeth  out  of  that  rascally 
old  porpoise,  his  late  father,  or  his  monkey  of  a 
son,  before  they  'd  trust  a  fellow  with  as  much  as 
that !  \jnaps  his  fingers]  or  even  be  polite.  Any- 
how, I  made  such  an  ado  and  talked  so  much  that 
he  trusted  me  with  six  ells. 

Guillemette 
Yes,  and  he  '11  never  get  them  back. 

Patelin  [derisively] 
Get  them  back  ?    He  '11  get  the  devil  back  ! 

Guillemette  [suggesting  by  mimicry  the  action  in  the 
fable  of  the  Fox  and  the  Crow] 
I  call  to  mind  the  fable  of  the  Crow  that  had 

[28] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

perched  on  a  cross,  some  ten  or  twelve  yards  high. 
In  his  beak  he  was  holding  a  cheese.  A  Fox 
strolled  along  that  way  and  spied  the  cheese. 
Thought  he  to  himself,  *Now,  how  am  I  going 
to  get  it  ? '  Then  he  stood  beneath  the  Crow. 
*Ah,'  says  he,  *  how  handsome  you  are!  and 
your  song  is  so  full  of  melody  ! '  The  Crow,  like 
a  fool,  hearing  such  praises  of  his  voice,  opened 
his  beak  to  sing.  Down  dropped  the  cheese,  and 
in  a  trice  Master  Renard  had  it  tight  between  his 
teeth  and  off  he  went !  That,  I  '11  wager,  is  what 
happened  to  this  cloth.  You  wheedled  him  out  of 
it,  just  as  Renard  got  the  cheese. 

Patelin 
He  is  coming  to  eat  some  goose,  —  on  a  wild 
goose  chase,  I  mean.  Now  here  's  our  game.  Of 
course  he  will  be  braying  to  get  money  on  the 
spot ;  so  I  Ve  hatched  out  a  nice  arrangement. 
I  '11  simply  lie  on  my  bed,  and  play  sick ;  then, 
when  he  comes,  you  will  say,  'Oh,  do  speak  low  !' 
Then  you  must  groan  and  pull  a  long  face. 
*A]as!'  (you'll  say)  *he  fell  sick  these  two 
months  past,'  —  or  say  six  weeks,  —  and  if  he 
cries,  '  That 's  all  flim-flam,  for  he  has  just  been 
at  my  shop,'  you  must  say,  '  Alas  !  this  is  no 
time  to  romp  ! '  Then  let  me  pipe  him  a  little 
tune,  for  music  is  all  he  shall  get. 

[29] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette 
Trust  me  to  play  the  game,  —  but  if  you  slip 
up  again,  you  may  smart  for  it :  I  bet  you  '11  catch 
it  a  good  bit  worse  than  the  other  time. 

Patelin 
Hush  now  !   I  know  what  I  'm  about.   We  must 
both  do  as  I  say. 

Guillemette 
For  goodness  sake  remember  that  Saturday  they 
put  you  in  the  stocks !    You  know  how  every 
one  jeered  at  you  for  your  trickery. 

Patelin 
Do  stop  your  chatter :   he  '11   be  here  before 
we  know  it.    That  cloth  must  stay  with  us  [hid- 
ing it  under  the  mattress] .     Now  I  'm  going  to 
bed. 

Guillemette  [laughing  at  his  burlesque  preparations] 
Go  ahead ! 

Patelin  [under  the  bedclothes] 
No  laughing,  now ! 

Guillemette  [as  she  draws  the  bedcurtains  together] 
Well,  rather  not !    I  '11  shed  hot  tears. 
[  30  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
We  must  stand  fast,  now.   No  flinching,  or  he  '11 
see  what 's  up. 


SCENE   FI 

{At  the  Draper* s  shop) 


'The  Draper 

I  must  have  a  parting  drink.  Why  no,  I  won't ! 
for,  by  Saint  Mat.,  I  shall  have  some  wine  with 
Master  Pierre  Patelin,  and  a  bit  of  his  goose.  And 
there  I  'm  to  receive  some  funds.  I  'm  in  for  some 
plum,  there,  at  the  very  least,  and  at  no  expense ! 
There  is  no  use  in  staying  here ;  for  I  can  make 
no  further  sales.  \_Leaves  his  shop ;  knocks  on 
Patelin  s  door.']    Hello  !  Master  Pierre ! 


SCENE   VII 

{At  Patelin's) 

The  Draper,  Guillemette,  Patelin 
[3'  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette  [opening  the  door  a  chink  and  laying  her 
finger  on  her  lips\ 

Oh,  sir,  if  you  have  anything  to  say,  for  mercy's 
sake  speak  lower ! 

'T^he  Draper 

God  keep  you,  mis'ess  ! 

Guillemette 
Oh,  not  so  loud  ! 

I^he  Draper  [astonished  and  puzzled'\ 
Huh  ?    What  is  the  matter  ? 

Guillemette  [feigning  amazement'^ 
Bless  my  soul ! 

'The  Draper 
Where  is  he  ? 

Guillemette 
Alas  !    Where  should  he  be  ? 

The  Draper 
The  .  .  .  Who? 

Guillemette 
Ah,  sir,  how  unkind  !   Where  is  he  ?   May  God, 
in  his  mercy  know  !   He  has  lain  on  the  very  same 
spot,  poor  martyr,  without  budging,  for  eleven 
weeks. 

[32  ] 


The  Draper  -visits  Patelin 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Draper  [staring  open-mouthed'\ 
Who  's  this  ? 

Guillemette  [whispering  in  the  Draper  s  ear"] 
Excuse  me :   I  dare  not  raise  my  voice.    I  be- 
lieve he  is  resting.    He  is  a  Uttle  drowsy.   Alas  I 
he  's  so  done  up,  poor  man  ! 

The  Draper  [in  amazement'\ 
Who? 

Guillemette 
Master  Pierre. 

The  Draper  [indignantly] 

Whew  !  And  did  n't  he  come  to  purchase  six 
ells  of  cloth,  right  now  ? 

Guillemette 
Who?    He? 

The  Draper 

He  came  from  my  shop  not  half  a  quarter  of  an 
hour  ago.  Hurry !  I  am  wasting  time.  Come ! 
No  more  fooling  !    My  money  1 

Guillemette 
Oh,  no  joking  !    This  is  no  time  for  jokes. 

The  Draper  [waving  his  arms'] 
Here !    My  money  !    Are  you  crazy  ?    I  want 
nine  francs. 

[  34  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette 

Oh  Guillaume  !  It 's  no  time  for  gammon,  nor 
for  making  light  of  us.  Go  along  and  trifle  with 
your  simpletons,  if  you  're  out  for  a  lark. 

1'he  Draper  {angrily^ 
I  '11  have  nine  francs,  or  I  '11  be  damned ! 

Guillemette  \jrying  to  keep  from  laughing^  while  she 
wipes  away  imaginary  tears~\ 

Oh  dear  !  sir,  not  everybody  is  so  fond  of  laugh- 
ter and  clap-trap  as  you  are. 

The  Draper  [beseechingly'] 

I  say ;  please,  no  kidding ;  do  fetch  me  Master 
Pierre. 

Guillemette 
Bad  luck  to  you  !    What  ?    To-day  ? 

'J'he  Draper  [gesticulating  angrily"] 
Is  n't  this  place,  here,  where  I  am,  in  the  house 
of  Master  Pierre  Patelin  ? 

Guillemette 

Yes !    And  may  they  stick  you  into  bedlam  ! 
[crossing  herself]  —  but  not  me  !    Sh  ! 
[35] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'J'he  Draper 

The  devil  and  all !    \_W axing  sarcastic.']    Have 
I  no  right  to  ask  ? 

Guillemette  [crossing  herself  again,  as  if  the  devil 
might  really  appear ;  then  laying  her  fingers  on 
her  lips  and  glancing  mysteriously  toward  Pate- 
lin s  hiding-place~\ 

God  bless  my  soul !    Sh  !    Lower,  if  you  wish 
him  to  stay  asleep  ! 

The  Draper  [very  satirical"] 
Lower  ?    How  *  lower '  ?    Shall    I   whisper  it 
down  in  your  ear  ?  at  the  bottom  of  the  well  ?  or 
of  the  cellar? 

Guillemette 
My  goodness  !    What  a  babbler  you  are  !    Any- 
how, that  is  always  the  way  with  you. 

'The  Draper  [in  petulant  protestation] 
Damn  it  all !  Now,  let  me  tell  you,  if  you  ex- 
pect me  to  whisper  ....  [j^ngrily.]  Say  now !  As 
for  such  wrangling,  I  'm  not  used  to  it.  [Bearing 
on  each  word.]  The  truth  is  that  Master  Pierre 
took  six  ells  of  cloth  to-day. 

Guillemette  [shrilly] 
Huh?  Oh,  come  !  To-day?    Well,  I  never ! 
[  36  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Look  here,  now  !  Took  what  ?  .  .  .  Hang  me, 
if  it  is  n't  the  sober  truth  !  He  is  in  such  a  plight, 
poor  man,  that  he  has  n't  left  his  bed  for  eleven 
weeks  —  I  believe  you  are  making  sport  of  us. 
Now,  is  there  any  reason  in  it  ?  Law  now !  you 
clear  out  of  my  house  !  \_Pf^ringing  her  hands^  Oh 
dear  !  oh  dear  ! 

'I'he  Draper 
You  were  telling  me  to  speak  so  low !    Holy 
Mother  !  you  are  shrieking  ! 

Guillemette  [almost  in  a  whisper'] 
Upon  my  soul,  it  is  you  who  are  making  all  the 
noise ! 

The  Draper 
Look  here !    I  must  be  off.    Hand  over  .  .  . 

Guillemette  \_forgetting  herself  and  letting  her  voice 
rise  to  a  high  key\ 
Sh !  Speak  low,  will  you  ! 

"The  Draper 
But  it 's  you  who  '11  rouse  him  !    Great  guns  ! 
You  talk  ten  times  louder  than  I  do  !    [Emphatic- 
ally.']   I  want  you  to  let  me  go. 

Guillemette 
Eh  ?   What  is  this  ?    Are  you  cracked  ?  or  have 
you  been  drinking  ?    In  heaven's  name  ! 
[  37  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

J'he  Draper 
Drinking  ?   My  word !    There 's  a  pretty  ques- 
tion ! 

Guillemette 
Oh  dear  !    Speak  lower  ! 

'The  Draper  [meekly] 

I  ask  payment  for  six  ells  of  cloth,  lady,  —  for 
pity's  sake. 

Guillemette 

It 's  all  in  your  eye  !   And  who  did  you  give  it 
to? 

The  Draper 
To  himself. 

Guillemette 
Fine  trim  he  's  in  for  buying  cloth  !  Alas  !  he 
can't  budge  [begins  to  sob ;  the  Draper  thinks  hard.  ] 
He  's  in  no  need  of  clothes  ;  never  more  will  he 
be  drest  in  any  garment  but  a  white  one,  nor  leave 
the  spot  where  he  is  lying,  unless  he  goes  feet  first. 

The  Draper 
This  must  have  happened  since  sunrise,  then ; 
for  I  'm  sure  I  talked  with  him. 

Guillemette  [stopping  her  ears~\   . 
Your  voice  is  so  shrill !    Be  quiet,  for  pity's  sake  ! 
[38  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Draper  [in  a -perfect  tantrum] 

It 's  you,  upon  my  oath  !  It 's  you  !  Oh,  damn 
it !  Od's  blood !  this  is  torment.  If  some  one 
paid  me,  I  would  go  my  way.  Afore  Heaven  ! 
whenever  I  have  trusted,  this  is  what  I  've  always 
got  for  it. 


SCENE    Fill 


Patelin,  Guillemette,  The  Draper 

Patelin  [as  if  he  had  just  awakened] 

Guillemette  !  A  little  rosewater  !  Prop  me  up  ! 
Tuck  me  in  behind !  Pah  !  No  one  's  listening. 
The  ewer  !    A  drink  !    Rub  the  soles  of  my  feet ! 

The  Draper 
I  hear  him  there. 

Guillemette 
You  do. 

Patelin  [in  a  nightcap  ;  peers  out  between  the  cur- 
tains and  shouts  to  Guillemette] 
Ha,  wretch  !  come  here  !  Who  told  you  to  open 
those  windows  ?    Come,  cover  me !    Drive  these 
[39] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

black  men  away  !    Marmara,  carimari,  carlmara  ! 
Away  with  them  !  away  ! 

Guillemette  \to  Patelin] 

What 's  this  ?  How  you  behave  !  Are  you 
beside  yourself? 

Patelin  [slowly  getting  out  of  bed  and  pointings  as 
he  does  so,  toward  the  rafters.    To  the  Draper] 

Thou  canst  not  see  what  I  perceive.  There 
is  a  black  monk,  flying.  Catch  him  !  Give  him 
a  stole  !  [Approaching  the  Draper,  who  retreats 
backward,  he  spits  like  a  cat,  turning  his  fingers  into 
claws  and  striking  as  if  he  were  going  to  scratch  the 
Draper  s  eyes  out.]  The  cat !  the  cat !  [Pointing, 
and  seeming  to  follow  the  flight  of  the  imaginary 
monk.]    Up,  up,  he  goes  ! 

Guillemette 

Oh  what  is  this  ?  Ain't  you  ashamed  !  La !  this 
turmoil  has  upset  him. 

Patelin  [returns  to  bed  and  falls  back  on  his  pillow, 
exhausted.    'To  Guillemette,  who  is  bending  over  him] 

Those  physicians   have   killed  me  with   these 
hotchpotches  they  have  made  me  drink.    And  yet, 
to  believe  them,  it 's  as  simple  as  moulding  wax. 
[40] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette  [to  the  Draper] 
Oh  !    Have  a  look   at  him,  sir  :  he 's  such  a 
sufferer. 

'The  Draper 
You  don't  mean  to  say  he  's  fallen  sick  since 
just  now,  when  he  came  from  market? 

Guillemette 
From  market? 

"The  Draper 

Aye.  By  Saint  John,  I  think  he  was  there.  [T'o 
Patelin.~\  1  want  my  money  for  the  cloth  I  lent  you, 
Master  Pierre. 

Patelin  \j>retending  to  take  the  Draper  for  a 
physician] 

Ho,  Doctor  John  !  harder  than  stone :  I  have 
....  two  small  lumps,  black,  round  as  balls. 
Shall  I  take  another  clyster  ? 

'J'he  Draper 
Huh  ?   How  do  I  know  ?   What  business  is  it 
of  mine  ?    It 's  nine  francs  I  want,  or  six  crowns. 

Patelin 
These  three  black  little  pointed  things,  —  I  be- 
lieve you  call  'em  '  pills.'    They  have  spoilt  my 
[41  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

jaws.  For  heaven's  sake,  Doctor  John,  no  more 
of  them  !  Pah  !  there  is  nothing  so  bitter ! 
They  've  made  me  let  go  of  everything. 

'J'he  Draper 

They  have  not !  by  my  father's  soul !  You 
have  n't  let  go  of  my  nine  francs. 

Guillemette  \half  aside] 

Hang  them !  these  folks  who  are  always  med- 
dling. [*  Shooing '  the  indignant  but  helpless  Draper. ~\ 
Away  with  you,  by  all  the  devils  !  —  as  God  has 
nothing  to  do  with  it. 

1'he  Draper 

By  the  Lord  who  made  me,  I  will  have  my  cloth 
before  I  finish,  or  my  nine  francs  ! 

Patelin  \jo  the  Draper^  still  pretending  to  take  him 
for  *  Doctor  John '] 

And  my  water,  does  it  show,  perchance,  that 
I  am  dying?  [To  Guillemette.]  Alas,  although 
he  stays,  let  me  not  die ! 

Guillemette  \jo  the  Draper] 

Begone  !  Is  n't  it  wicked  to  be  splitting  his  ears 
with  your  din  ? 

[42  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Draper  [throwing  up  both  hands'^ 

May  heaven  rue  the  day  it  runs  foul  of  him  ! 
[To  Patelin.']  Six  ells  of  cloth  !  Come,  now  !  upon 
your  honour,  is  it  fair  for  me  to  lose  them  ? 

Patelin 

Had  you  only  been  able  to  thin  my  ....  Doctor 
John ;  it 's  so  hard  when  it  comes  out  at  my  .... 
,  .  .  .  that  I  don't  know  how  I  keep  on  living. 

The  Draper  [shaking  his  fist~\ 
I  want  nine  francs  in  full,  I  say,  or  by  Saint 
Peter  .  .  . 

Guillemette 
Dear  me  !  how  you  plague  the  man  !  How  can 
you  be  so  boisterous  ?  You  see  clearly  that  he 
takes  you  for  a  physician.  Alas !  the  poor  Chris- 
tian has  had  ill  luck  enough.  Eleven  weeks 
without  a  break  he  's  been  lying  there,  poor  soul ! 
[Clasps  her  hands  and  looks  like  the  most  dismal  hypo- 
crite ;  Patelin  rolls  over^  with  a  groan.] 

The  Draper  [half  to  himself] 

Od's  blood  !  I  can't  imagine  how  this  mishap 

could  have  befallen  him  ;  for  he  came  this  very  day 

and  we  struck  a  bargain,  —  at  least,  it  seemed  to 

happen  so,  if  I  'm  not  mistaken. 

[43  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette 

My  good  sir,  there  's  something  amiss  with  your 
memory.  Really,  I  think  you  had  better  go  and 
rest  a  little;  for  lots  of  folks  might  gossip  that  you 
come  in  here  on  my  account.  Go  away  !  The  phy- 
sicians will  be  on  hand  presently,  and  I  would  n't 
have  any  one  suspect  some  impropriety :  I  'm  not 
that  sort. 

T!he  Draper 

Oh,  curse  it  all !  So  this  is  the  fix  I  'm  in. 
\_Mopping  his  brow.']  I  '11  be  bound  !  I  was  still 
thinking  .  .  .  You  have  no  goose  on  the  fire  ? 

Guillemette 
Hark  what  he  asks  !    Why,  sir,  that 's  no  food 
for  sick  folks.   Eat  your  own  geese,  and  don't  come 
here  to  play  your  monkey  tricks.    I  must  say,  you 
make  yourself  very  much  at  home. 

'The  Draper 
Please  don't  take  it  amiss,  for  I  verily  believed 
.  .  .  [To  himself^  Still  ...  by  the  sacrament  .  .  . 
Pshaw  !  now  I  am  going  to  find  out !  \JValks  away 
slowly,  muttering  as  he  goes.~\  I  know  full  well  that 
I  ought  to  have  six  ells,  all  in  one  piece ;  but  that 
woman  has  clean  upset  my  wits.  He  took  them ; 
no  doubt  of  it!  [After  reflection.']  Nay,  he  did  not. 
[44] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  devil !  it  will  not  tally !  I  saw  him  in  Death's 
clutch — or  at  least  he  's  shamming  death.  \Ponders 
again. ^  Aye,  by  'r  Lady,  he  did  !  There  is  no 
doubt  of  it ;  he  took  them  and  stowed  them  away 
beneath  his  elbow !  [After  more  reflection^  No, 
he  did  not!  It  may  be  I  am  dreaming;  yet, 
whether  I  be  asleep  or  awake,  it  is  not  like  me  to 
give  my  goods  to  any  man,  however  friendly  he 
may  be  with  me.  I  would  not  have  trusted  any 
one.  \_Angrily.'\  Od's  bod  !  he  took  them  !  and  by 
the  death  .  .  .  [Reflecting.']  Nay,  I  have  it !  He 
did  not !  .  .  Yet  what  am  I  coming  to?  [Emphat- 
ically.'] He  has  them  !  [After  a  slight  pause  he 
waves  his  arms  desperately  and  bursts  out.]  Maya 
pox  take  both  his  body  and  his  soul  if  I  know  who 
has  got  the  best  or  the  worst  of  it,  they  or  myself! 
I  'm  all  at  sea.  [Exit.] 


SCENE  IX 

Patelin,  Guillemette 

Patelin  [still  in  bed;  low  to  Guillemette] 
Is  he  gone  ? 

Guillemette  [at  the  door] 
Be  still !    I  'm  listening.   He  is  humming  some 
[45  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

little  tune  or  other  under  his  breath.    By  the  way- 
he  mutters,  one  might  suppose  he  was  losing  his 

mind. 

Patelin 

Have  n't  I  lain  here  long  enough  ?  \_After  a 
pause.'\   He  dropped  in  so  punctually  ! 

Guillemette  [still  listening] 

Maybe  he  will  return.  [Patelin  starts  to  rise.~\ 
Nay  !  Heaven  forbid  !  Lie  still  a  while.  It  would 
be  all  up  with  us  if  he  found  you  out  of  bed. 

Patelin 
He  met  his   match,  the  distrustful  skinflint ! 
Served  him  right ! 

Guillemette  [leaving  her  post] 

Of  all  the  rank  hucksters  that  ever  were  baited 
he  is  the  gem  !  Oh,  this  is  what  he  gets  for  un- 
godly stinginess.    [She  titters  loudly.] 

Patelin 
For  heaven's  sake,  stop  laughing !    If  he  came 
back  he  might  play  the  mischief,  and,  let  me  tell 
you,  we  have  n't  seen  the  last  of  him. 

Guillemette 
I  declare !    Let  anybody  who  can,  keep  from 
laughing  ;  I  can't  help  it !    [Laughs  uproariously.] 
[46  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

SCENE  X 

{At  the  Draper's  shop) 


The  Draper 

By  the  holy  light  that  shines  !  For  all  the  bab- 
blers, that  freshwater  barrister  shall  see  me  again. 
Pooh  !  That  income  some  of  his  cousins  or  his 
aunts  were  going  to  furnish  him  !  A  likely  yarn  ! 
Now,  by  Saint  Peter,  he  has  my  cloth,  the  false 
swindler !  I  gave  it  him  right  here.  \Starts  for 
Patelin  s  in  a  fury  ^ 


SCENE  XI 

{At  Patelin  s) 

Patelin,  Guillemette 

Guillemette 
When  I  think  of  the  face  he  made  as  he  looked 
at  you  .  .    [Laughs.'\    He    dunned    so    fiercely! 
\Laughs  again.^ 

Patelin 

Quit  your  cackling  !   God \_crosses  him- 

[47  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

self~\  .  .  .  bless  my  soul,  if  some  one  should  over- 
hear you  we  might  as  well  decamp :  he  's  such  a 
crusty  customer. 

SCENE  XII 

{Mostly  in  the  market-place) 

'The  Draper  [with  bitter  scorn] 
Ha !  a  boozing  pettifogger !  \Sneering.~\  A  quack 
who  knows  but  three  lessons  and  three  psalms  ! 
[Ironically.']  The  rest  of  us  are  brainless  clowns, 
forsooth  !  By  gad,  no  one  was  ever  fitter  to  be 
hanged  !  He  has  my  cloth,  or  I  '11  be  damned,  and 
he  has  tricked  me  with  this  game !  [Rapping  angrily 
at  Patelin' s  door.]  Ho,  there  !  mis'ess  :  where  are 
you  hiding? 


SCENE  XIII 

{At  Patelin  s) 

The  Draper,  Guillemette,  Patelin 

Guillemette 
My  word !  he 's  heard  me !    [Looking  through  th<f 
keyhole^    He  seems  to  be  going  mad. 
[48  ] 


Master    Pierre    Pateli 


Patelin  [in  bed ;  draws  the  curtains  together^ 
I  '11  make  believe  I  'm  delirious.    Let  him  in. 

Guillemette  [opening  the  door  and  trying  to  look 
serious^ 

How  you  yell ! 

'The  Draper  [entering  noisily\ 
Ah   ha !    you  are  laughing,  eh  ?    Here !    My 
money  ! 

Guillemette 
My  stars  !  What  do  you  think  I  've  got  to 
laugh  about?  There  is  n't  an  unhappier  creature 
under  the  sun.  He  is  passing  away.  Never  did 
you  hear  such  a  storming,  nor  frenzy.  His  mind 
is  still  astray ;  he  raves,  he  sings,  and  then  he 
babbles  and  mutters  in  so  many  languages !  He 
will  not  live  half  an  hour.  Upon  my  soul,  I  laugh 
and  weep  in  the  same  breath. 

The  Draper 
I   know  nothing  about  your  laughter  or  your 
weeping.    To  cut  it  short,  I  must  be  paid  ! 

Guillemette 
For  what  ?   Are  you  daft  ?    Are  you  beginning 
to  rant  again  ? 

[49] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

I'he  Draper  \haughtily~\ 

I  am  not  wont  to  be  thus  spoken  to  when  I  am 
selling  my  cloth.  Would  you  have  me  believe  the 
moon  is  made  of  green  cheese  ? 

Patelin  [standing  on  his  bed,  with  his  head  between 
the  curtains^ 

Now  then  !  the  Queen  of  the  Citterns  !  Quick  ! 
Fetch  her  here  !  I  know  well  she  has  given  birth 
to  four  and  twenty  gitternkins  by  the  abbot  of 
Ivernaux :   I  must  stand  godfather  for  him. 

Guillemette 

Alas  !  Think  about  God  the  Father,  my  dear, 
not  about  gitterns  or  gitternkins. 

T'he  Draper  \aside\ 
Ha !    What  a  pair  of  humbugs  !    [Exploding^ 
Quick  now  !    Plank  down  hard  cash  for  the  cloth 
you  got  of  me. 

Guillemette 
La  !  *  If  you  made  one  mistake,  are  n't  you  sat- 
isfied ? 

'^he  Draper  \_appealingly\ 
Do  you  know  how  it  is,  dear  friend  ?    So  help 
me  God  !    I  'm  not  aware  of  a  mistake  .  .  .    \In- 
[50] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

dignantly.~\  Come  now  !  Shell  out,  or  be  hanged  ! 
\JVhining.~\  How  do  I  wrong  you  if  I  come  here 
to  ask  for  what  is  mine  ?    For  by  Saint  Peter  .  .  . 

Guillemette 

Alas  !    How  you  rack  the  man  !    \Inspired^    I 

see  by  your  looks  that  you  are  not  sound.    \Scan- 

ning  him  closely. ~\   As  sure  as  I  am  a  sinner,  if  I  had 

help  I  'd  tie  you  fast,  for  you  've  gone  stark  mad. 

'I'he  Draper  \_desperately~\ 
Oh  dear,  oh  dear !    I  am  beside  myself  at  not 
getting  my  money. 

Guillemette 
Oh  what  witless  talk !    Cross  yourself!    Bene- 
dicite !   [Insisting.']    Make  the  sign  of  the  cross ! 

The  Draper 
Damn  me  if  ever  I  trust  anybody  with  .  .  . 
\he  begins  to  speak  brokenly,  hearing  noises  from  the 
bedy  where  Patelin  is  about  to  have  a  fresh  frenzy~\ 
.  .  .  cloth  .  .  .  this  .  .  .  year  .  .  .  Godamercy  ! 
What  an  invalid ! 

Patelin    {leaping  down  from  his  bed  and  striding 

about,  performing,  meanwhile,  various  antics 

which  the  Draper  observes  with  amazement] 

Mere  de  diou,  la  coronade,  —  par  fye,  y  m'en 

[51] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

voul  anar.  —  Or  renague  biou,  outre  mar.  Ventre 
de  diou  !  zendict  gigone,  —  castuy  carible  et  res 
ne  done.  —  Ne  carillaine,  fuy  ta  none,  —  que  de 
I'argent  il  ne  me  sone  !  If  it 's  ducats,  mum  is  the 
word.  [To  the  Draper.~\  Have  you  understood, 
fair  coz  ? 

Guillemette  \to  the  Draper] 
He  once  had  an  uncle  near  Limoges,  a  brother 
of  his   aunt-in-law.    That,  I   take   it,  is  why  he 
jabbers  in  the  gibberish  of  Limousin. 

The  Draper 
Out  on  you !    He  stole  away  with  my  cloth 
under  his  arm-pit. 

Patelin  [taking  Guillemette  by  the  hand  and  starting 
to  lead  her  away  in  princely  fashion] 

Venez  ens,  doulce  damiselle.  [Pointing  to  the 
Draper 7\  Toadspawn  !  what 's  it  after  ?  [Haughtily 
commanding  the  Draper  to  draw  back.]  Avaunt, 
scullion,  avaunt !  [JVhile  the  Draper  stares^  Patelin 
strides  across  the  room,  snatches  up  an  old  gown  of 
Guillemette' Sy  and  in  very  short  order  gets  himself  up 
as  a  priest ;  he  then  addresses  his  bewildered  visitor 
in  exclamative  or  questioning  tones.]  Hither  !  Has- 
ten !  Devil,  come  en  chelle  vielle  monkery.  Heh  ! 
fault  il  que  ly  prestre  rie,  quant  il  deust  canter  se 
messe  ? 

[  52  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette 
Alas  !  alas  !  it  will  soon  be  time  to  give  him  the 
extreme  unction. 

'The  Draper 
But  how  does  he  happen  actually  to  speak  the 
Picard  tongue  ?    Whence  comes  this  foolishness  ? 

Guillemette 
His  mother  was  raised  in  Picardy ;  so  he  speaks 
Picard  now. 

Patelin  \_going  toward  the  Draper~\ 
Whence  comest  thou,  merry  reveler  ?  Wacarme  ! 
hefve  godeman.  Henriey,  Henriey,  conselapen. 
\_Takes  the  Draper  s  hands  and  goes  dancing  about 
the  room,  singingJ]  Grile,  grile,  scohehonden,  — 
zilop,  zilop,  en  mon  que  bonden,  —  Disticlien 
unen  desen  versen, —  mat  groet  festal  ou  truit 
den  hersen.  \As  he  gives  the  astounded  Draper  a 
final  twirl,  Patelin  trips  himself,  falls,  and  lies  on 
his  back  with  only  enough  strength  left  to  gasp,  but 
in  this  posture  he  soon  gets  breath  to  continue  his 
linguistic  antics^  Vuste  vuille  pour  le  frimas ! 
\K.neels  as  if  at  a  confessional7\  Faictes  venir  sire 
Thomas  —  tantost  qui  me  confessera  ! 

The  Draper 
What  is  this  ?    He  will  keep  on  all  day  talking 
[53  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

foreign  languages.  If  he  would  only  give  me 
a  security,  or  my  money,  I  would  go. 

Guillemette 
Bless  my  soul !  .  .  .  Oh,  dear  me  !   You  are  so 
outlandish.    What  will  you  have  ?    How  you  can 
be  so  stubborn  passes  my  understanding. 

Patelin  \jo  the  Draper] 
Or  cha,  Renouart  au  Tine !  —  Be  dea,  que  ma 
couille  est  pelouse  !  [The  Draper ^  determined  to  get 
his  money  by  hook  or  by  crook,  takes  hold  of  Patelin  s 
gown  and  gives  it  a  pull.]  Les  playes  dieu  !  qu'esse 
qui  s'attaque  —  a  men  coul  ?    Esse   une   vaque  ? 

—  une  mousque  ?  ou  ung  escarbot  ^.  [The  Draper 
retreats,  Patelin  crouches  behind  a  chair,  with  only 
his  head  visible^    Be  dea  !  j'e  le  mau  saint  Garbot ! 

—  Suis  je  des  foyreux  de  Baieux? 

The  Draper 
How  can  he  stand  the  strain  of  so  much  talking  ? 
[Witnessing  fresh  antics.]    Ho  !    he  is  losing  his 
wits !    But  how  does  he  come  to  speak  Norman } 

Guillemette 
His   schoolmaster  was  a  Norman ;    so  in   his 
last  hour  the  memory  of  it  comes  back  to  him. 
[Further  capers  by  Patelin.]    He  is  giving  up  the 
ghost ! 

[54] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

I'he  Draper  [in  dismay~\ 

Thunderation  !  This  is  the  worst  raving  that 
ever  I  ran  foul  of.  [T'<?  Guillemette^  I  never  should 
have  thought  he  was  not  this  day  at  market ! 

Guillemette  [astonishedl^ 
You  thought  so  ? 

The  Draper 

Yes,  hanged  if  I  did  n't ;  but  I  see  that  is  n't 
what  happened,  at  all. 

Patelin  [listenings  as  if  he  heard  some  noise  in  the 
street~\ 

Sont  il  ung  asne  que  j'os  braire  ?  [Sputtering^ 
as  if  another  frenzy  were  coming  on.~\  Ha  oul  dan- 
daoul  en  ravezeie  —  Orf  ha  en  euf.  [Behind  a  chair 
Patelin  changes  his  costume  so  as  to  resemble  an  old 
hag.  Meanwhile  Guillemette  and  the  Draper,  cling- 
ing to  each  other,  await  the  next  occurrence  with  a 
horror  in  one  case  shammed,  in  the  other  real.  Hear- 
ing a  weird  sound  from  behind  the  chair,  Guillemette 
cries  out,  with  clasped  hands.~\ 

Guillemette 

God  help  you ! 

[  55  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  \_picks  up  a  broom^  and  with  the  handle  makes 
cabalistic  figures  on  the  floor ^  draws  a  circle 
round  the  Draper;  then  sits  astride  his  broom 
and  goes  prancing  off  like  a  witchy  continuing  his 
mutterings~\ 

Huis  oz  bezou  drone  nos  badou  —  Digaut  an 
tan  en  hoi  madou  —  Maz  rehet  erux  dan  holcon 
—  So  ol  oz  merveil  il  grant  nacon  —  Aluzen  arehet 
epysy  —  Har  cals  amour  ha  eoureisy. 

1'he  Draper 
Alas  !  Blest  Heaven  !  Hearken  to  it !  He  is 
sinking.  How  he  gurgles  !  [T'o  Guillemette.~\  But 
what  is  he  sputtering  about?  How  he  mutters  ! 
Od's  bodykin !  he  mumbles  so  I  cannot  catch  a 
word  of  it.  This  is  not  Christian,  or  any  other 
tongue,  apparently. 

Guillemette 
It 's  Breton.    His  grandmother  on  his  father's 
side  came  from  Brittany.  \_Patelin  shows  signs  of  ex- 
haustion.']  He  is  dying  !  This  shows  that  he  needs 
his  last  sacraments. 

Patelin  [still  astride  the  broom ;  to  the  Draper] 

He  par  Gigon,  tu  te  mens. — Vualx  te  deu, 

couille  de  Lorraine  !  \_Starts  to  explain  the  cabalistic 

figures  to  the  Draper,  who  retreats  in  alarm.  Pate- 

[  56] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

lin  pursues  him,  whacking  the  floor  and  furniture  with 
his  broom.  Finally,  as  the  Draper,  breathless,  takes 
refuge  behind  a  chair,  Patelin  addresses  him  in  Latin ^ 
Et  bona  dies  sit  vobis,  —  magister  amantissime, — 
pater  reverendissime,  —  quomodo  brulis  ?  que 
nova  ?  —  Parisius  non  sunt  ova  !  —  Quid  petit  ille 
mercator  ?  —  Dicat  sibi  quod  trufator,  —  ille  qui  in 
lecto  jacet,  —  vult  ei  dare,  si  placet,  —  de  oca  ad 
comedendum.  [Falls  on  the  floor.  'The  Draper,  who 
has  regained  some  of  his  courage,  helps  Guillemette  to 
put  Patelin  to  bed,  bolstering  him  up  with  pillows. 
Patelin  continues  to  mutter.^ 

Guillemette 
Upon  my  word,  he  will  die  a-talking !  How  he 
froths  !  \To  the  Draper.'\  Do  you  not  mark  how 
he  is  steaming  ?  [Casting  her  eyes  aloft. ~\  Now  his 
human  part  is  going  to  its  heavenly  home.  [Hiding 
her  face  in  her  hands, ~\  Now  I  shall  be  left  alone, 
poor  and  forlorn. 

The  Draper  [aside~\ 
It  were  well  for  me  to  go  away  before  he  breathes 
his  last.  [To  Guillemette.~\  I  fear  he  might  be  loth, 
at  his  decease,  to  tell  you  any  secrets  in  my  pre- 
sence, though  he  would  in  privacy.  Pardon ;  for 
I  take  my  oath  I  thought  he  had  got  my  cloth. 
Good  bye,  ma'am ;  may  God  forgive  me ! 
[57  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Guillemette  \_showing  him  out\ 
Heaven  bless  you  —  and   his   poor  mournful 
wife  ! 


SCENE    XIF 

{In  the  street) 

The  Draper 

By  all  the  saints  !  I  'm  flummuxed  worse  than 
ever.  \_After  a  short  pause."]  The  Devil,  in  his 
stead,  took-  my  cloth  to  tempt  me  !  Benedicite  ! 
\_Crosses  himself.  ]  May  he  leave  me  in  peace !  And 
since  the  case  so  stands,  I  give  the  cloth  in  God's 
name  to  whosoever  took  it.     \_Reenters  his  shop.] 


SCENE   XV 

{At  Patelin' s) 

Patelin,  Guillemette 

Patelin  [jumping  out  of  bed  and  waving  his  hand 

after  the  departing  Draper] 

Go  along  with  you  !    \T^o  Guillemette]    How  do 

you  like  me  for  a  teacher  ?    [Peeping  into  the  street.] 

[58] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Crackbrained  Neddie  is  making  for  home.  \Taps 
his  head  significantly^  Heavens  !  he  has  plenty  of 
rooms  to  let !  .  .  .  At  night,  when  he 's  in  bed,  he  is 
likely  to  see  spooks. 

Guillemette 

How  he  was  bamboozled !  And  did  n't  I  do  my 
part  well  ? 

Patelin 

Od's  bodykin  !  You  're  an  angel  !  We  've  got 
cloth  enough,  I  think,  to  have  some  clothes !  \With 
this  J  Patelin  pulls  the  stolen  cloth  from  the  bed^  where 
it  has  lain  hidden^  wraps  one  end  round  his  body  and 
flings  the  whole  strip  so  that  it  lies  unfolded  when  it 
reaches  Guillemette' s  feet.  She  grasps  her  end  and 
whirls  so  that  she  and  Patelin  are  close  together 
when  the  curtain  falls. ~\ 

SCENE   XVI 

{At  the  Draper  s  shop) 

The    Draper 
Later,  Tibalt  Lambkin,  a  Shepherd 

'The  Draper 
That 's   the  way  !    Everybody  stuffs    me  with 
lies.    Everybody  carries  off  my  goods,  and  takes 
[59] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

what  he  can  get.  Of  all  unlucky  men  I  am  the 
king.  The  very  shepherds  cheat  me ;  but  mine, 
whom  I  have  always  treated  kindly,  shall  be  sorry 
for  flouting  me  !  By  the  blessed  Virgin,  he  shall 
smart  for  it ! 

'The  Shepherd  [appearing  unexpectedly  from  the  left 
of  the  market-place ;  on  being  seen  by  his  master, 
he  removes  his  cap  and  bows ;  then  begins  to  speak 
with  the  thick  dull  drawl  of  a  born  yokel~\ 

God  give  you  a  good  day,  sweet  master,  and 
a  good  evening ! 

The  Draper 

Oho  !    So  it 's  thou,  foul  churl.    A  good  fellow 
thou  art;  aye,  good  for  the  gallows  ! 

The  Shepherd  [resting  his  crook  on  the  ground  and 
stopping,  about  five  feet  from  the  Draper'] 

I  ax  your  pardon,  master,  but  some  one  or  other 
in  striped  hosen,  which  were  right  disorderly,  and 
he  had  a  rod  in  his  hand,  yet  no  lash  on  it,  said 
to  me,  says  he  .  .  yet  I  remember  not  at  all  well 
what  it  may  be,  to  tell  the  truth.  He  spoke  to 
me  of  you,  master,  and  of  some  summons  or  other. 
As  for  me,  holy  mother !  much  I  know  what  it 's 
all  about.  He  muddled  me  a-talking  about  ewes 
and  court  in  the  afternoon.  And  he  raised  a  great 
hullaballoo  for  you,  master  .  .  . 
[  60] 


Itdiappict 
<\my  Sea  c^afcut)  me  pat(l  $e  fo6ee 
c^afcut)  ma;  poite  morj  auoic 
et  pient  ct  quttcr)  pcuft  auoit 
or  fuiG  ie  fe  toy  See  mcfdjatie 
'/nefment  fesSctgicre  See  c^ampe; 
imc  ca  Bufcnf  otee  fe  mict) 
flqui  iar^  toufiours  fritt  5tt  6{cfj 
ifne  ma  pae  pout  6ief)  ga66e 

r^«  Shepherd  comes  to  explain 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  Draper  [shaking  his  fist  in  the  face  of  Lamb- 
kin, ipho  cowers  against  the  wall~\ 

If  I  do  not  have  thee  hauled  forthwith  before 
the  judge,  may  I  be  drowned  and  blasted  !  Never 
shalt  thou  kill  one  beast,  by  my  oath,  but  thou 
remember  it !  Anyhow,  thou  shalt  pay  me  for  the 
six  ells  ....  I  mean  for  slaughtering  my  sheep, 
and  the  havoc  thou  hast  wrought  me  these  ten 
years  pasty^ 

'The  Shepherd 

Don't  believe  the  slanderers,  my  good  master ; 
for,  upon  my  soul  .  .  . 

The  Draper 

And  by  Gog's  bones,  before  Saturday  thou  shalt 
give  me  back  my  six  ells  of  wool  .  .  I  mean  what 
was  taken  from  my  sheep. 

The  Shepherd 

What  wool  ?  Ah  !  master,  I  believe  you  are 
angry  over  some  other  thing.  By  Saint  Lupus  ! 
master,  I  fear  to  speak  when  I  look  at  you. 

The  Draper 

Leave  me  in  peace  !    Out  of  my  sight !  —  if  thou 
art  wise.    And  thou  hadst  better  be  on  hand. 
[  62] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  Shepherd 
Master,  let  us  agree.    For  God's  sake,  don't  go 
to  law  about  it. 

T^he  Draper  [waving  him  off~\ 
Begone  !  Thy  business  is  in  a  pretty  pass ! 
[  Telling  and  shaking  his  fist  in  Lambkin  s  face.'\ 
Begone  !  I  say.  I  '11  make  no  agreement,  nor  set- 
tle anything,  save  as  the  judge  shall  do.  \_He  drives 
the  Shepherd  out^  Yah  !  Unless  I  'm  waVy,  every 
one  will  be  swindling  me  from  now  on  ! 

1'he  Shepherd 
God  be  wi'  you,  sir,  and  give  you  joy  !   [Cross- 
ing the  market-place ;  to  himself. ~\    So  I  must  de- 
fend myself.   [Knocks  at  Patelin^ s  door.~\   Is  any  one 
within  ? 

SCENE  XVII 

Patelin,  Guillemette 
Later^  The  Shepherd 

Patelin 
Hang  me,  if  he  is  n't  coming  back  ! 

Guillemette 

Nay,  he  is  not ;  mercy  on  me !  that  would  be 
the  very  worst. 

[63] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Shepherd  \_as  Patelin  comes  ouf\ 
God  be  with  you  !    God  bless  you  ! 

Patelin 

God  keep  thee !  What  wilt  thou,  my  good 
fellow  ? 

The  Shepherd 

They  will  fine  me  for  default  unless  I  appear  for 
trial.  And,  if  you  like,  you  will  come,  sweet  mas- 
ter, and  defend  me ;  for  I  know  nothing.  And  I 
will  pay  you  well,  even  though  I  be  ill  clad. 

Patelin 

Come  hither,  now.  Speak  up  !  Which  art  thou  ? 
—  plaintiff?  or  defendant  ? 

The  Shepherd 
I  have  business  with  a  dealer  —  do  you  under- 
stand, sweet  master?  —  whose  ewes  I  have  for  a 
great  while  led  to  pasture  and  watched  for  him. 
Now,  sir,  upon  my  word,  I  saw  he  paid  me  scantly. 
.  .  Shall  I  tell  everything  ? 

Patelin 
To  be  sure  !    A  client  should  hide  nothing  from 
his  counsel. 

The  Shepherd 
It  is  true,  sir,  beyond  denial,  that  I  basted  'em 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

on  the  skull  for  him,  so  that  time  and  again  they 
went  into  a  swoon  and  fell  dead ;  no  matter  how 
strong  and  sound  they  were.  And  then,  lest  he 
should  lay  it  to  me,  I  gave  him  to  understand  that 
they  died  of  the  scab.   *  Ho  ! '  quoth  he,  *  take  the 

*  scabby  one  away  from  the  others;  off  with  her!  * 

*  Right  willingly  ! '  quoth  I ;  [^/eering]  but  that  was 
done  otherwise ;  for,  by  Saint  John  !  I  ate  them, 
knowing  well  what  they  wanted.  Well,  sir,  this 
went  on  so  long,  and  I  slaughtered  so  many,  that 
he  found  it  out.  And  when  he  saw  he  was  being 
deceived,  —  God  help  me !  —  he  set  somebody  to 
spy;  for  they  hear  them  bleat  very  loud,  you 
understand,  when  it 's  going  on.  So  I  have  been 
caught  red-handed ;  I  can  never  deny  it.  Now  I 
beseech  you  —  for  my  part  I  have  money  enough 
—  that  we  two  steal  a  march  on  him.  I  know  well 
he  has  the  law  on  his  side,  but  you  will  find  some 
loophole,  if  you  try,  so  as  to  give  him  the  worst 
of  it. 

Patelin 

By  your  faith,  shall  you  be  glad  ?  \_Winsomely.'\ 
What  will  you  give  me  if  I  upset  the  plaintiff's 
case,  and  you  are  acquitted  ? 

The  Shepherd 

I  will  pay  you  not  in  copper,  but  in  fine  gold 
crowns. 

[65] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
Then  your  case  shall  be  a  good  one.  And  were 
it  twice  as  bad,  so  much  the  better  !  and  the  sooner 
I  shall  do  for  him  !  As  I  am  going  to  apply  my 
wisdom,  how  you  shall  hear  me  spout,  when  he 
has  set  forth  his  suit !  Come  hither !  By  the  holy 
precious  blood  !  Art  thou  crafty  enough  to  under- 
stand a  trick  ?  What  is  thy  name  ? 

'The  Shepherd 
By  Saint  Maurus  !  it  is  Tibalt  Lambkin. 

/       Patelin  \jocularly\ 

Lambkin,  hast  thou  filched  many  a  sucking  lamb 
from  thy  master? 

The  Shepherd 

My  word  !  it  is  quite  likely  I  have  eaten  above 
thirty  in  three  years. 

Patelin 

Ten  yearly  to  pay  for  dice  and  candles.  [Asidei^^ 
I  believe  I  shall  let  him  have  it  fair!  \Aloud.']  Dost 
think  he  can  find  any  one  forthwith  to  prove  his 
facts  ?  That  is  what  the  case  hinges  on. 

The  Shepherd 
Prove,  sir  ?  Blessed  Mary  !    By  all  the  saints 
in  Paradise  !  instead  of  o  n  e  he  '11  have  a  dozen 
witnesses  against  me ! 

[66] 


Master    Pierre   Patelin 

Patelin 
That 's  a  bad  feature  in  thy  case.    \_Slight  pause."] 
Here  is  what  I  had  in  mind.     I  '11  feign  to  know 
naught  of  thee,  that  I  never  laid  eyes  on  thee  before. 

The  Shepherd  [in  dismay] 
Lord,  no  !  not  that ! 

Patelin 

No,  then  I  won't.  But  here  is  what  you  must 
do.  If  you  talk,  they  will  trap  you  every  time,  and 
in  such  cases  confessions  are  most  prejudicial,  and 
so  harmful  that  it 's  the  devil  and  all.  Here  is  the 
trick !  As  soon  as  they  call  on  you  for  trial,  an- 
swer nothing  but  ba-a-a  [mimicking  a  sheep^s  bleat] , 
whatever  they  say  to  you.  And  if  they  happen  to 
curse  you,  saying,  *  Ha,  stinking  fool !  a  pox  on 
thee,  villain  !  Art  thou  flouting  the  court  ? '  go 
ba-a,  '  Oh  ! '  I  '11  say, '  he  is  half-witted ;  he  thinks 
he  is  talking  to  his  sheep  ! '  But  even  if  they  split 
their  heads  with  roaring,  not  another  word  !  Be- 
ware ! 

'The  Shepherd 

I  take  it  to  heart,  and  truly  I  will  be  wary,  and 
I  will  do  it  properly,  I  promise  and  affirm. 

Patelin 

Now  heed  !   No  flinching  !  And  whatever  I  say 
or  do,  give  me  no  other  answer. 
[67] 


I 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Shepherd 
I  ?    By  my  sacrament !  call  me  a  fool  outright 
if  I  utter  to-day  another  word,  to  you  or  to  any 
one,  whatsoever  they  say  to  me,  but  only  ba-a^  as 
you  have  taught  me. 

Patelin 

By  Saint  John !  There  is  the  prank  to  outwit 
your  adversary  !  \_In  a  tone  between  wheedling 
and  threat.']  But  when  it  is  done,  pay  me  a  right 
good  fee. 

The  Shepherd 

Master,  if  I  do  not  pay  as  agreed,  never  trust 
me.    But  I  pray,  look  carefully  to  my  business. 

Patelin 

By'r  Lady  of  Boulogne,  the  Judge  must  be 
holding  court ;  for  he  always  is  on  hand  by  six 
o'clock,  or  thereabouts.  Now  come  along  with 
me,  but  we  will  not  take  the  same  road. 

The  Shepherd 

Quite  so  !  \shrewdly~\  they  must  n't  see  that 
you  're  my  lawyer. 

Patelin  \_threateningly~\ 

By  'r  Lady  !  Mind  your  eye,  if  you  don't  pay 
generously ! 

[68] 


Master   Pierre    Patelin 

I'he  Shepherd 

Why !  as  agreed,  sir ;  do  not  doubt  it.  [Sets 
out.'] 

Patelin  [alone] 

Oh,  well,  half  a  loaf  is  better  than  no  loaf  at 
all.  I  shall  hook  a  minnow,  anyhow  ;  and  if  he  is 
lucky,  he  will  give  me  a  crown  or  so  for  my  pains. 

[Follows  the  Shepherd  into  the  market-place.] 


SCENE  XVIII 

{In  the  market-place) 

{Enter  Judge y  followed  by  a  clerk,  a  score  of  archer s, 
bailiffs,  and  loiterers,  who  range  themselves  to  the 
right  and  left  of  the  market-cross,  so  as  to  leave 
an  open  space  before  the  Judge  s  seat.  'The  Judge 
sits  down  and  surveys  the  crowd) 

The  Judge,  Patelin,  The  Shepherd,  then  The 
Draper 

Patelin  [removes  his  hat ;  to  the  Judge] 

God  bless  you,  sir,  and  grant  you  your  heart's 
desire  ! 

The  Judge 
Welcome,  sir  !    But  cover  yourself.    There  ! 
Take  a  seat. 

[69] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  [hiding  in  the  crowds  to  avoid  being  seen  by 
the  Draper^  whose  breathless  approach  brings 
to  him  the  sudden  realisation  that  the  Shepherd's 
adversary  is  the  very  person  whom  he  has  him- 
self beguiled~\ 
Oh,  I  am  all  right,  sir,  if  you  please  ;  there  's 

more  room  here. 

The  Judge  \_brusquely~\ 
If  there  is  business,  have  done  with  it,  in  order 
that  the  court  may  adjourn. 

The  Draper  [arrives  much  flurried^  just  as  the  Judge 
has  spoken~\ 
My  lawyer  is  coming,  your  Worship.    He  is 
finishing  a  little  work  that  he  was  at,  and  it  would 

be  kind  of  you  to  wait  for  him. 

/ 

The  Judge  [testily~\ 

Come,  come !  1  have  business  elsewhere.  If 
the  offending  party  is  here,  set  forth  your  case  at 
once.   Are  you  not  the  plaintiff? 

The  Draper 
I  am. 

The  Judge  [casting  his  eyes  about"] 

Where  is  the  defendant  ?  Is  he  present  in  per- 
son ? 

[70] 


Boueferfee0tei)9efaCcn&( 

j[letu0e 
^e  Sea  it  aiffeure  a  tntzndtt 
(eSoflrepattieeflpiefente 
SefiHiiee^ouefanepfueSaMte 
ec  n^eeSoue  pae  SemanSeuc 

jdeSzappin: 


TAe  court  scene 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  Draper  \_pointing  at  the  Shepherd~\ 

Yes,  there  he  is,  keeping  mum  ;  but  God  knows 
he  has  something  to  think  about. 

The  Judge  \to  the  Draper^ 

Since  you  are  both  here,  make  known  your 
suit. 

The  Draper 

This,  then,  is  what  I  am  bringing  an  action 
against  him  for.  Your  Worship,  the  truth  is  that 
for  the  love  of  God,  and  out  of  charity,  I  reared 
him  in  his  childhood ;  and  when  I  saw  that  he 
was  strong  enough  to  work  in  the  fields,  to  cut 
it  short,  I  made  him  my  shepherd  and  set  him  to 
watching  my  flock ;  but  as  true  as  you  are  sitting 
there,  your  Worship,  he  has  wrought  such  havoc 
among  my  ewes  and  wethers  that,  no  mistaking, 
he  .  .  . 

The  Judge  [officious'] 

Now  listen  !  Was  n't  he  in  your  hire  ? 

Patelin  [breaking  in^  ostensibly  to  show  that  the 
Judge  has  made  a  good  point] 

Aye,  that 's  it !  For  had  he  kept  him  for  pure 
sport,  without  hire  .  .  . 

[  72  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  Draper  [recognising  Patelin^  who  hides  his  face 
behind  his  hand'] 
The  devil  get  me !    If  it 's  not  you,  and   no 
mistake  ! 

'The  Judge  [to  Patelin~\ 

How  is  this  ?  You  are  holding  your  hand  up. 
Have  you  a  toothache.  Master  Pierre  ? 

Patelin  [wincing] 

Yes,  my  teeth  are  raising  such  a  row  that  I 
never  felt  worse  pains.  I  dare  n't  lift  my  head. 
[Waving  one  hand.]  For  God's  sake,  make  him 
proceed  ! 

The  Judge  [to  the  Draper] 

Go  on.  Finish  your  charge.  Come !  Conclude 
promptly. 

The  Draper  [aside,  and  staring  at  Patelin] 
By  the  holy  rood,  't  is  he  and  no  other !    [To 
Patelin.]    It  was  you  I  sold  six  ells  of  cloth  to, 
Master  Pierre ! 

The  Judge  [to  Patelin] 
What  is  he  saying  about  cloth.' 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 
He's  rambling.    He  means  to  come  to  the 
[  73] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

point,  but  he  can't  find  his  way  to  it,  for  he  lacks 
the  training. 

1'he  Draper  {half  choked  with  indignation] 
Hang  me  if  anybody  else  took  my  cloth,  by 
the  bloody  throat ! 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge"] 
How  the  wretched  man  lugs  his  inventions  in 
to  make  out  a  case !  The  pig-headed  fellow 
means,  of  course,  that  his  shepherd  had  sold  the 
wool  that  went  into  the  cloth  that  made  my  gar- 
ment, by  saying  that  he  is  robbing  him,  and  that 
he  stole  the  wool  of  his  sheep. 

'The  Draper  \jo  Patelin] 
Damn  me,  if  you  have  n't  it ! 

The  Judge  [to  the  Draper] 

In  the  devil's  name,  be  still !  You  are  twaddling. 
Can  you  not  return  to  the  subject,  without  delay- 
ing the  court  by  such  drivel  ? 

Patelin  [with  one  hand  still  on  his  jaw] 
My  teeth  ache  so  ;  yet  I  must  laugh  !   [Looking 
toward  the  Draper^    He  's  already  in  such  haste 
that  he  does  n't  know  where  he  left  off.    We  must 
set  him  right  again. 

[  74] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Judge  \to  the  Draper] 
Come  !  Let 's  stick  to  those  sheep  !  What  hap- 
pened ? 

The  Draper  [is  about  to  return  to  his  sheep^  when 
Patelin  J  by  stepping  in  front  of  him^  diverts  his 
attention ;  whereupon  he  shakes  his  fist  at 
Patelin  and  at  the  same  time  appeals  to  the 
Judge'] 
He  took  six  ells,  worth  nine  francs ! 

The  Judge  [bawling] 
Are  we  greenhorns  ?  or  tomfools  ?  Where  do 
you  think  you  are  ? 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 

Od's  blood !  He  takes  us  for  ganders,  I  sup- 
pose 1  Oh,  he  looks  so  very  good !  but  let  me 
advise  that  his  opponent  be  examined  a  bit. 

The  Judge  [regaining  his  composure] 
Very  true  !   He  is  familiar  with  the  man ;  he 
must  needs  know  him.    [To  the  Shepherd.]    Step 
forward.    Speak. 

The  Shepherd  [shambling  forward  and  looking  very 
dull] 

Ba-a! 

[  75] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Judge 

Hoity-toity !    Here  's  a   mess !    What   is    this 
ba-a  ?  Am  I  a  goat  ?  Speak  to  me  ! 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a  I 

The  Judge 
A  murrain  on  you  !  Ha!  Are  you  flouting  us? 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge'] 

Believe  me,  he  is  crazy,  or  stupid,  or  he  fancies 
he  's  among  his  sheep. 

The  Draper  [wildly^  to  Patelin] 
Damn  me  if  you  are  not  the  very  man  that  took 
it,  —  my  cloth,  I  mean.    [To  the  Judge.]   Oh,  you 
can't  imagine,  sir,  by  what  deceit  .  .  . 

The  Judge  [threatening] 

Hold  your  tongue !  Are  you  an  idiot  ?  Leave 
that  matter  alone,  and  let 's  come  to  the  point ! 

The  Draper 
True,  your  Worship ;  but  the  circumstance 
concerns  me ;  yet  on  my  faith  I  '11  not  utter  an- 
other word  about  it.  Another  time  it  may  be  dif- 
ferent. I  shall  have  to  swallow  it  whole.  Well, 
as  I  was  saying,  I  gave  six  ells  [the  Judge  starts 
[76] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

up]  ...  I  mean,  my  sheep  .  .  .  pray,  sir,  forgive 
me  .  .  .  this  nice  master  [^Pierri]  .  .  .  my  shepherd, 
when  he  ought  to  have  been  in  the  fields  .  .  . 
[Sbaking  his  fist  at  Patelin  and  appealing  frantically 
to  the  Judge\.  He  told  me  I  should  have  six 
crowns  in  gold,  as  soon  as  I  came  .  .  .  \_as  the 
Judge  threatens]  ...  I  mean,  three  years  ago  my 
shepherd  gave  me  his  word  that  he  would  watch 
over  my  flock  loyally  and  do  me  no  damage  to  it, 
nor  any  villainy,  and  then  .  .  .  \_seeing  Patelin] 
now  he  denies  me  outright  both  cloth  and  money. 
[To  Patelin] .  Oh,  Master  Pierre,  truly  .  .  [Catches 
a  warning  frown  from  the  Judge.]  That  scoun- 
drel robbed  me  of  the  wool  of  my  sheep  ;  and 
healthy  though  they  were,  he  killed  them,  and 
made  them  die  by  pounding  out  their  brains  .  . 
\_Again  Patelin  distracts  his  attention.]  When  he 
had  tucked  my  cloth  under  his  arm-pit  he  hurried 
off,  saying  I  should  go  and  get  six  gold  crowns  at 
his  house. 

The  Judge 
There  is  neither  rime  nor  reason  in  all  your 
railing.  What  does  it  mean?  Now  you  interlard 
one  thing,  now  another.  In  short,  fore  God,  I  can 
make  neither  head  nor  tail  of  it.  \fto  Patelin.]  He 
muddles  something  about  cloth  and  prattles  next 
of  sheep,  helter  skelter.  What  can  he  be  driving 
at? 

[  77  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 

Now,  I  undertake  that  he  is  keeping  back  the 
poor  shepherd's  wage. 

'The  Draper  \to  Patelin] 

By  heaven,  you  might  hold  your  tongue  !  My 
cloth  .  .  as  true  as  gospel  .  .  I  know  where  my 
shoe  pinches  better  than  you  or  any  one.  Od's 
bones,  you  have  it ! 

The  Judge  \_to  the  Draper"] 
What  has  he  ? 

The  Draper 

Nothing,  sir.  \_Again  bursts  out.]  Upon  my 
oath,  he  is  the  greatest  swindler  .  .  [The  Judge 
threatens.]  Oh,  I  '11  be  silent  about  it,  if  I  can, 
and  not  speak  of  it  again,  whatever  happens. 

The  Judge 
No  !    But  remember  !    Now  finish  speedily. 

Patelin  \_to  the  Judge] 

This  shepherd  cannot  answer  the  charge  with- 
out counsel ;  yet  he  is  afraid,  or  knows  not  how 
to  ask  for  it.  If  you  were  willing  to  order  me  to 
take  his  case,  I  would. 

[78] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

I'he  Judge  [ironically^ 

H  i  s  case  ?  You  'd  get  cold  comfort  out  of  that, 
I  should  imagine.    It 's  hardly  worth  while. 

Patelin 

But,  honestly,  I  don't  care  to  make  anything  out 
of  it ;  let  it  be  done  for  charity  !  \Turning  toward 
the  Shepherd.']  Now  I  'm  going  to  find  out  from 
the  poor  lad  what  he  will  tell  me,  and  whether, 
perchance,  he  may  afford  me  matter  for  his  defence. 
He  would  have  a  hard  time  getting  out  of  it,  if 
nobody  came  to  his  rescue.  [To  the  Shepherd^ 
Come  hither,  my  friend.  \JVith  an  utterly  vacant 
expression  the  Shepherd  slouches  forward  a  step  or 
twOi  with  his  crook  in  one  hand,  and  his  cap  in  the 
other.']  If  any  one  could  find  .  .  .  dost  thou 
understand  ? 

^he  Shepherd 

Ba-a! 

Patelin  [feigning  astonishment] 

Ba-a  ?  The  devil  !  What  ba-a  ?  Zounds  !  Art 
thou  crazy  ?   Tell  me  thy  business. 

TChe  Shepherd 
Ba-a-a  I 

Patelin 

How  ba-a  ?    Dost  thou  hear  thy  ewes  a-bleat- 
ing  ?    Mind,  it  is  to  thine  interest. 
[  79] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a  ! 

Patelin  [entreating] 

Now  speak  !    Say  yes,  and  no.    [IVhispering.] 
Well  done  !    Keep  it  up  ! 

The  Shepherd  \joftly~\ 
Ba-a  ! 

Patelin 

Louder,  or  it  may  cost  thee  dear. 

The  Shepherd  [very  loud"] 
Ba-a-a  ! 

Patelin  [as,  with  a  despairing  gesture,  he  appeals  to 
the  Judge] 
The  maddest  man  is  he  who  drives  such  a  born 
fool  into  court !    Oh,  sir !  send  him  back  to  his 
ewes :  he  is  a  fool  by  nature. 

The  Draper  [to  Patelin] 
A  fool,  you  say  ?    Saint  Saviour  of  Asturia  !  he 
has  more  sense  than  you ! 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 
Send  him   away  to  watch   over  his  flocks, — 
never  to  return.     Cursed  be  whoever  cites  such 
a  lackbrains  into  court ! 

[  80] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 


'The  Draper  [to  the  Judge'] 
And  he  is  to  be  sent  away  before  I  can  be  heard  ? 

Patelin  [to  the  Draper] 

So  help  me !  Yes  ;  since  he 's  out  of  his  mind. 

Why  not  ? 

The  Draper  [to  the  Judge] 
Oh  now,  sir ;  at  least  allow  me  first  to  have  my 
say.    What  I   have  to   say  is  no   trumpery,  nor 
scoffing. 

The  Judge 
Vexation  is  all  that  comes  of  having  dolts  on 
trial,  either  male  or  female.    Listen  !    To  cut  the 
matter  short,  the  court  will  adjourn. 

The  Draper  [wistfully] 

Shall    they   go    away  without   ever   having  to 
appear  again? 

The  Judge  [gathering  up  his  robe] 
Well,  now  what  .  . 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 

Appear  again  !   You  never  saw  a  madder  man, 
neither  in  his  acts  nor  in  his  answers.    [Pointing  to 
the  Draper.]  And  he  is  not  a  whit  better.    Both 
[  8i  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

are  brainless  fools.  I  '11  be  blessed !   between  them 
they  have  n't  a  pennyweight  of  brains  ! 

1'he  Draper  [shaking  his  fist  at  Patelin] 

You  carried  it  off  by  lying,  —  that  cloth,  I 
mean, — and  without  paying  for  it,  Master  Pierre. 
Fore  God,  that  was  the  work  of  no  upright  man. 

Patelin  [to  the  crowd] 
Saint  Pintle  of  Rome!    If  he  isn't  mad  al- 
ready, he  is  going  mad. 

'The  Draper  [to  Patelin] 

I  know  you  by  your  speech,  and  by  your  dress. 

I  am  not  mad  :  I  am  sound  enough  to  know  who 

does  right  by  me.    [To  the  Judge.]  I  will  tell  you 

the  whole  matter,  my  lord ;  upon  my  word  I  will ! 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 
Oh,  sir !  Bid  him  be  still !  [To  the  Draper.] 
Ain't  you  ashamed  to  wrangle  so  with  this  poor 
shepherd  over  three  or  four  measly  sheep  not  worth 
two  buttons !  [To  the  crowd.]  He  makes  more 
ado  .  .  . 

The  Draper  [storming  and  shaking  his  fists] 
What  sheep  ?    [IVith  an  expression  of  weariness 
and  indignation  he  gives  a  couple  of  turns  to  an 
[  82  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

imaginary  crank.']  A  hurdy-gurdy  !  Always  the 
same  old  tune !  [Shaking  bis  finger  in  Patelin' s 
face.]  It's  to  yourself  I  am  talking,  —  to  you! 
and  by  all  that 's  holy  you  shall  give  it  back 
to  me ! 

'The  Judge 

Look  you  !  I  am  lucky  !  [jTo  the  crowd ^  He 
will  never  stop  bawling  ! 

'The  Draper  [to  the  Judge] 
I  ask  him  .  .  . 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 
Make  him  be  still !  [To  the  Draper.]  Oh  good- 
ness !  Give  that  song  a  rest  !  Suppose  he  has 
lammed  six  or  seven,  or  a  dozen,  and  eaten 
them.  Hell's  bells!  That  is  hard  on  you!  You've 
earned  more  than  that  while  he  's  been  keeping 
them. 

The  Draper  [to  the  Judge]  ' 

Mark,  sir !  Mark  !  When  I  talk  to  him  of 
cloth,  he  answers  with  his  shepherd  fooleries  ! 
[To  Patelin.]  Six  ells  of  cloth  that  you  put  under 
your  arm-pit  and  walked  off  with  —  where  are 
they  ?    Do  you  mean  to  give  them  back  to  me  ? 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge] 
Oh,  sir !   Would  you  have  him  hanged  for  six 

[83] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

or  seven  sheep  ?  At  least,  sir,  take  time  to  catch 
your  breath.  Don't  be  so  harsh  to  a  forlorn  shep- 
herd, who  's  as  naked  as  my  nail. 

The  Draper 
A  pretty  way  to  change  the  subject !    It  was 
the  devil  made  me  sell  cloth  to  such  a  customer ! 
[To  the  Judge. ~\  Oh  now,  your  Worship,  I  ask 
him  .  .  . 

The  Judge  [to  the  Draper"] 
I  acquit  him  of  your  charge  and  forbid  you  to 
proceed.  A  great  honour  it  is  to  have  a  lunatic  in 
court !    [To  the  Shepherd.]    Away  to  your  beasts  ! 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a! 

The  Judge  [to  the  Draper] 

You  show  well  what  you  are,  sir,  by  's  death ! 

The  Draper 
Oh,  my  lord,  upon  my  soul,  I  wish  .  .  . 

Patelin  [to  the  bystanders] 
Could  he  stop  ? 

The  Draper  [turning  upon  Patelin] 
And  my  business  is  with  you!   You  cheated 
[  84] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 


me  and  carried  off  my  cloth  by  stealth  and  with 
your  smooth  talk  .  .  . 

Patelin  [to  the  Judge\ 
I  cross  my  heart !   Why,  do  you  hear  him,  sir  ? 

'The  Draper  \to  Patelin\ 
God  help  me,  you  're  the  most  arrant  trick- 
ster .  .  .    \T'o  the  Judge.']   Your  Worship,  what- 
ever they  may  say  .  .  . 

The  Judge 
You  are  a  pair  of  idiots,  both  of  you  !  It 's 
naught  but  wrangling.  \_He  rises.]  Yah  !  It  is 
about  time  to  be  leaving.  [To  the  Shepherd.]  Get 
thee  gone,  my  friend,  and  never  return,  whatever 
bailiff  serves  a  warrant  on  thee.  The  court  acquits 
thee.    Dost  thou  comprehend  ? 

Patelin  \to  the  Shepherd] 
Say  ^  I  thank  you,  sir.* 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a! 

The  Judge  \jo  the  Shepherd] 

I  mean  it.    Never  mind !    Begone  !    [Half  to 
himself.]    It  is  just  as  well. 
[  85  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

The  Draper 
Is  it  fair  that  he  should  go  away  like  this  ? 

The  Judge  [with  a  snort  of  disgust'\ 

Huh !  I  have  business  elsewhere.  \Both  to 
Patelin  and  to  the  Draper  J\  You  are  by  all  odds 
too  fond  of  jibes.  You  shall  keep  me  no  longer : 
I  am  going.  \fto  Patelin.~\  Will  you  come  and  sup 
with  me.  Master  Pierre  ? 

Patelin  \j>uts  his  hand  over  his  mouth  and  winces^ 
as  if  his  teeth  were  still  aching~\ 
I  cannot. 

[Exit  Judge^  followed  by  the  throng  of 
archersy  bailiffsy  loiterers,  etc.^ 


SCENE   XIX 

{Still  in  the  market-place) 

The  Draper,  Patelin,  The  Shepherd 

The  Draper  [to  Patelin~\ 
A  downright  robber !  that 's  what  you  are !   Say 
Am  I  going  to  be  paid  ? 

[  86] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin 
For  what?  Is  your  mind  wandering  ?  Why,  who 
do  you  think  I  am  ?   By  my  heel !  I  was  wondering 
who  you  took  me  for. 

^he  Draper 
Pah! 

Patelin 

My  dear  sir,  wait  a  bit.  I  '11  tell  you  right  now 
who  you  think  you  take  me  for.  Maybe  it's  for 
Brainless  ?  [JVith  one  hand  Patelin  removes  his  hat ; 
with  the  other  he  points  to  his  bald  spot.'\  Look ! 
[Deprecatingly ."]  Nay,  nay  !  He  is  n't  bald,  as  I 
am,  on  top  of  his  pate. 

'I'he  Draper 

You  mean  to  take  me  for  a  blockhead,  eh  ?  *T  is 
you,  as  sure  as  I  'm  alive,  —  you  yourself  Your 
voice  proves  it,  and  I  know  it 's  so. 

Patelin 

What!  Me  myself  ?  Nay;  truly  it  is  n't.  Try 
another  guess.  Might  n't  it  be  Jean  de  Noyon  ? 
He 's  shaped  like  me. 

'The  Draper 
Ugh !   He  has   no   such  boozy,  sodden  face. 
[  87  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 


Did  n't  I  leave  you  sick   in   bed   a   short  while 
since  ? 

Patelin 

Ho !  There  you  have  it !  Sick  ?  And  with  what 
malady  ?  Own  up  to  being  a  jackanapes,  —  as 
clearly  enough  you  are  ! 

The  Draper 

It 's  you  ;  by  Saint  Peter's  bones  !  You  !  and 
nobody  else  !   I  know  it  for  a  fact. 

Patelin 

Now,  don't  you  believe  anything  of  the  sort ! 
For  it 's  not  me,  at  all.  I  never  took  an  ell,  nor 
even  half  an  ell,  from  you.  It 's  likely  I  would 
do  such  a  thing ! 

The  Draper  [looking  blank'l 

Hm  !  I  'm  going  to  have  a  look  at  your  house, 
to  see  whether  you  are  there.  There  's  no  use  in 
our  worrying  our  heads  about  it  any  longer  here, 
if  IJind  you  there. 

Patelin 
By  'r  Lady !    Now  you  have  it !   That  is  the 
way  to  find  out. 

[Exit  Draper. ~\ 
[  88  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

SCENE   XX 

{Near  the  front  of  the  market-place^ 

PateliNj  The  Shepherd 

Patelin 
Say,  Lambkin ! 

'The  Shepherd 
Ba-a! 

Patelin  \beckoning\ 
Come  hither.    Come.    Was  thy  business  well 
done  ?    \frhe  Shepherd  does  not  move ;  Patelin  starts 
to  approach  him'\ 

The  Shepherd  [edging  off'\ 
Ba-a! 

Patelin  \stopSj  apprehensive  lest  Lambkin  may  take 
to  flight'] 

The  plaintiff's  gone,  now.  Cease  thy  ba-a:  it's 
no  longer  needed.  [fFinsomely.]  Did  n't  I  trounce 
him  ?   Did  n't  I  counsel  thee  just  right .? 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a-a  I 

[89] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

Patelin  [drawing  a  step  or  two  closer'\ 

Come,  come !  Nobody  will  overhear  you.  Speak 
right  out.  You  need  n't  fear. 

'The  Shepherd  [looking  for  an  outlet'] 

Ba-a  I 

Patelin  [firmly] 

It  is  time  for  me  to  be  going.    Pay  me ! 

I'he  Shepherd  [just  audibly] 
Ba-a! 

Patelin  [patting  the  Shepherd,  and  in  a  beguiling 
tone] 

To  say  truth,  you  did  your  part  prettily,  and 
your  behaviour  was  first  rate.  What  left  him  in  the 
lurch  was  the  way  you  kept  from  laughing. 

'T^he  Shepherd  [bleating  a  little  louder] 

Ba-a-a  ! 

Patelin 

Why  ba-a  ?  It  's  not  needed  any  longer. 
[Holds  out  bis  hand.]  Come!  Pay  me  well  and 
nicely. 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a! 

Patelin 

Why  ba-a  ?  Talk  sensibly,  and  pay  me ;  then 
I  will  go  my  way. 

[  90] 


eaeefonjsnecderreeieiyfafcft 
ilcQerisia: 

Pattlin  tries  to  collect  his  fee 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

'The  Shepherd  [still  louder] 
Ba-a-a  ! 

Patelin 

Let  me  tell  you  something.  Can  you  guess  what 
I  am  going  to  say  ?  Please  pay  me  without  further 
railing.  I  Ve  had  enough  of  your  ba-a.  [Holding 
out  his  hand.]    Pay  me,  quick  ! 

The  Shepherd  [backs  off,  with  a  prolonged  bleat] 
Ba-a-a-a  ! 

Patelin  [reproachfully] 
Is  this  mockery  ?  Is  this  the  most  you  intend 
to  do  ?  [Growing  fiercely  eager,]  Upon  my  oath, 
you  shall  pay  me,  unless  you  can  fly  !  [Corner- 
ing the  Shepherd.]  Do  you  understand?  Here! 
My  fee ! 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a  ! 

Patelin 

This  is  a  jest !  [With  a  shade  of  pathos]  What ! 
Is  this  all  I  am  to  get  ? 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a! 

Patelin  [half  in  jest y  but  persuasively] 
You  are  riming ;  but  this  is  prose.    Hm !   Is 
[  92  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

there  any  green  in  my  eye  ?  Are  you  aware  whom 
you  are  trying  to  take  in  ?  Babble  to  me  no  longer 
with  your  ba-a  I  and  pay  me  my  fee. 

l!he  Shepherd  \_growing  restless\ 
Ba-a-a  ! 

Patelin  \_keeping  him  corner ed'\ 
Is  that  the  only  cash  I  am  to  get  ?  With  whom 
do  you  fancy  you  are  playing  ?  \_Regretfully.'\  And 
I  was  to  take  such  pride  in  you !  Now  let  me  be 
proud  of  you. 

'The  Shepherd 
Ba-a  ! 

Patelin 
Are  you  feeding  me  on  goose?    \_Fiercely.']   By 
Gog's  arms  !   Have  I  lived  to  see  myself  jeered  at 
by  an  oaf,  a  sheep  in  clothing,  a  filthy  churl ! 

The  Shepherd 
Ba-a  I 

Patelin  [in  gentle  reproach'] 

Is  this  the  only  word  I  am  to  hear  ?  If  you  are 
merely  fooling,  say  so,  and  spare  me  further  argu- 
ment. [^  slight  pause.]  Come  to  my  house  for 
supper.  Lambkin. 

[93  ] 


Master    Pierre    Patelin 

1'he  Shepherd  \_glances  at  Patelin  cunningly ;  then 
gives  a  loud  bleat~\ 

Ba-a-a  I 

Patelin  [half  to  himself  ~\ 
By  Saint  John,  you  are  right !  The  goslings 
take  the  geese  to  pasture.  [To  himself]  I  thought 
myself  the  master  of  all  deceivers,  here  and  else- 
where ;  of  the  old  stagers,  too,  and  of  such  as  pay 
their  debts  on  Doomsday ;  but  a  mere  shepherd 
leaves  me  behind  !  [To  the  Shepherd^  who  is  trying 
to  make  good  his  escapeJ]  By  Saint  James  !  if  I 
could  find  a  bailiff,  I  'd  have  you  nabbed  ! 

The  Shepherd  [dodging  about,  while  Patelin  endeav- 
ours to  head  him  off\ 
Ba-a  I  Ba-a-a  I 

Patelin  [trying  to  get  hold  of  the  Shepherd] 
Hm !  Ba-a!    Hang  me  if  I  don't  go  after  a 
good  bailiff!  Bad  luck  to  him  if  he  doesn't  put 
you  into  gaol ! 

'The  Shepherd  [feeing] 
If  he  finds  me,  I  '11  forgive  him  ! 

EXPLICIT 
[  94  ] 


NOTES    ON  THE    TEXT 


NOTES    ON  THE    TEXT 


Page  4.  'The  Conjuring-book.'  Guillemette  means /<r  ^r;- 
maire,  a  derivative  of  grammatica  (  =  *  Latin  grammar  ' ) .  For 
several  centuries  the  superstitious  regarded  le  grimaire  (English 
*  gramary ' )  as  a  work  having  some  occult  connexion  w^ith  the 
Devil.  See,  for  instance,  the  fabliau  of  Martin  Hapart,  vol.  ii, 
p.  176,  in  the  Recueil  general  et  complet  des  fabliaux.  In  the 
fabliau  oi  Le  roi  d^  Angleterre  et  le  jongleur  d''  Ely,  ib.,  p.  242, 
grymoire  seems  to  mean  'rigmarole.'  In  Rabelais  (iv,  45)  we 
read:  *  Autour  de  luy  estoient  trois  prebstres  bien  ras  et  tonsures, 
lisans  le  grimoyre  et  conjurans  les  diables.'  To  give  in  modern 
speech  the  exact  connotation  of  le  grimaire  is  quite  impossible. 

II 

Page  4.  *  Charlemaine  in  Spain.'  The  first  verses  of  the  Song 
of  Roland  state  that  Charles  the  Great  spent  fall  seven  years 
in  Spain. 

Ill 

Page  5.  'Slyboots.'  Le  Roy  reads  chaudes  testes;  Levet 
changes  chaudes  to  saiges.  Level's  alteration  seems  to  indicate 
that  chaudes  testes  was  no  longer  clear  in  1489,  or  thereabouts, 
and  had,  therefore,  to  be  replaced  by  a  more  familiar  expression. 
In  my  opinion,  chaudes  testes  was  slang,  and  meant  something 
not  very  diiFerent  from  the  translation  that  I  have  offered.    At  all 

[97   ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


events,  to  think  of  this  wily  barrister  as  '  hot-headed  *  would 
be  to  endow  him  with  a  characteristic  scarcely  in  keeping  with 
his  personality  as  it  is  portrayed  in  the  remainder  of  the  piece. 
A  dare-devil  he  is,  but  self-controlled.  It  was  trickery,  not  anger 
or  violence,  that  caused  Maitre  Pierre  to  spend  a  Saturday  in  the 
pillory. 

IV 

Page  5.  *  Silks  and  satins,'  —  a  rough  equivalent  of  camelos 
.  .  et  .  .  camocas.  Camlet,  or  chamlet,  —  to  give  the  English 
forms  of  camelot  and  chamelot,  —  seems  to  have  been  a  thick, 
wavy  material,  originally  composed  of  camel's  hair  or  goat's  hair, 
but  later,  apparently,  of  silk  and  wool.  *  Of  fees  and  robes 
hadde  he  many  oon,'  says  Chaucer  of  his  Sergeant  of  the  Law, 
and  Rabelais  scoffingly  mentions  *  I'avocat,  seigneur  de  Came- 
lotiere,'  uncle  of  '  le  medecin  d'eau  douce,  feu  Amer'  (Prol. 
Book  v).     Camoca  was  probably  a  silken  stuff,  also  sumptuous. 

Patelin's  envious  thrust  at  the  gorgeously  robed  lawyers  strikes 
home ;  for  they,  as  well  as  the  half-starved  throng  of  pettifoggers 
to  which  Patelin  belongs,  were  bent  upon  filling  their  wallets  by 
hook  or  by  crook.  Commines  (vi,  5)  was  indignant  at  their 
corrupt  practices  ;  generations  later  they  aroused  the  scorn  of 
Montaigne  and  excited  the  sarcasm  of  Moliere. 

V 
Page  6.    •  \Counting  on  his  fingers'^  '  — the  only  stage-direc- 
tion to  be  found  in  any  known  fifteenth-century  text  of  Patelin. 

VI 

Page  8.  'Undergarment.'  The  original  seems  to  contain  a 
complicated  pun  on  blanchet,  which  may  be  taken  as  the  dimin- 
utive of  blanc  (English  'blank'),  a  small  coin;  or  may  mean 
'  blanket '  for  a  bed,  or  a  *  petticoat '  ;  or  even  be  the  antonym 
of  brunet,  the  masculine  of  brunette.    The  actor  who  performed 

[98   ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


the  part  of  Patelin  was  no  doubt  made  up  to  look  pale  {^fade^ 
and  boozy  (jtotatif),  as  we  shall  see  further  on  (pp.  48  and 
87).  If  Patelin  is  both  pale  and  boozy,  he  is  blanchet.  This 
farce  contains  several  puns  of  varying  merit  ;  but  the  reader  will 
pardon  the  translator  both  for  his  inability  to  do  them  justice,  and 
for  passing  them  henceforth  in  silence. 

VII 

Page  17.  *  God's-pennies.'  The  system  of  giving  a  trades- 
man earnest-money  still  survives  ;  but  nowadays  we  call  it  a 
*  deposit,'  rather  than  ♦  God's-penny,'  as  it  was  commonly 
called  by  our  medieval  ancestors. 

In  the  Middle  Ages  it  seems  to  have  been  customary  to  give  the 
God's-penny  to  the  purveyor,  or  to  his  agent  (see  Du  Cange), 
as  a  token  of  religious  obligation  to  pay  the  whole  debt  within  a 
certain  period,  —  not  on  Doomsday,  in  the  manner  of  Master  Pate- 
lin. Often,  if  not  always,  the  denier  a  Dieu  (^denarius  Det)  was 
dropped  into  a  box  somewhere  near  the  church,  or  either  in  or 
near  the  market-place.  There  it  remained  till  removed  by  a  serv- 
ant of  the  Church.  My  stage-direction  follows  closely  the  tradi- 
tion of  the  Comedie  Fran^aise,  and  is  probably  not  a  contradiction 
of  history. 

VIII 

Page  18.  'Saturday.'  Market-day  regularly  fell  on  Saturday. 
See  Note  xiv. 

IX 

Page  18.  *  Saint  Maudeleyne's  day.'  Magdalen  College  at 
Oxford,  despite  its  spelling,  preserves  the  Middle  English  pro- 
nunciation. I  have  chosen  the  popular  form  because  of  its  eu- 
phonious nature  and  its  more  popular,  less  sacred  air.  Saint 
Maudeleyne's  day  is  the  22  July. 

[99] 


Notes    on   the    Text 


X 

Page  21.  *  That  goose. '  Patelin  says,  in  the  original,  *  Et 
si  mengeres  de  mon  oye,' — a  grimly  humorous  phrase;  for, 
in  the  first  place.  Master  Pierre  has  no  goose,  and,  furthermore, 
manger  de  P  oye,  or  de  I'oue,  was  a  proverbial  expression,  mean- 
ing approximately  *  to  get  something  not  bargained  for,'  or,  as 
we  say,  *  to  go  on  a  fool's  errand,'  or  on  *  a  wild-goose  chase.' 
Imagine  the  pleasure  with  which  an  early  audience  would  have 
listened  to  this  bit  of  dramatic  irony. 

XI 
Page  24.    'That  trickster,'  etc.    These  few  words  damn  the 
Draper.    He  makes  himself  fair  game,  and  his  subsequent  mis- 
fortunes are  justified  from  an  artistic  point  of  view,  however  little 
they  are  justified  by  morality. 

XII 

Page  27.  *  Guillaume.'  In  the  fifteenth  century  *  Guil- 
laume  '  meant  not  only  *  William,'  but  also  'dunce'  or  'gull.* 
It  would  be  easy  to  cite  many  similar  applications  of  English 
baptismal  names.  Jack-pudding,  Jackanapes,  Tomfool,  Willy, 
Neddy,  Johnny  (a  town  fop  who  haunts  green-rooms,  or  any 
effeminate  man-about-town).  Miss  Nancy,  and  Ralph  Spooner 
will  do  for  examples.  '  Chaque  nation,'  says  Montaigne  (i, 
46),  *  a  quelques  noms  qui  se  prennent,  je  ne  s^ay  comment, 
en  mauvaise  part  :  et  a  nous  Jehan,  Guillaume,  Benoit. '  Mon- 
taigne goes  on  to  say  that  at  a  banquet  given  by  Henry  Duke  of 
Normandy  the  guests  were  grouped  at  table  according  to  their 
names.  At  the  first  table  sat  one  hundred  and  ten  knights  named 
Guillaume. 

XIII 
Page  27.    'Let's  bind  the  bargain  with  a  drink.'    The  im- 
[    100    ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


plication  is  obvious ;  but  could  Patelin  have  got  any  publican  to 
trust  him  ?    See  page  8  of  the  text. 

XIV 

Page  30.  'That  Saturday  they  put  you  in  the  stocks.' 
Saturday  was  chosen  because  it  was  market-day  (see  Note  viii). 
The  prisoner's  ignominy  would  thus  be  known,  not  only  to  his 
fellow  townsmen,  but  also  to  the  crowds  who  flocked  in  from  the 
neighbouring  country.  Here  we  encounter,  therefore,  one  of  sev- 
eral flaws  or  inconsistencies  in  the  plot  of  Patelin.  Even  so  dull 
a  fool  as  the  Draper  could  hardly  be  ignorant  of  Patelin' s  repu- 
tation ;  indeed  he  calls  him  a  trickster,  as  we  have  seen  ;  never- 
theless he  trusts  Patelin,  and  actually  expects  to  receive  payment 
and  have  a  bite  of  Patelin' s  goose. 

XV 

Page  31.  *  Saint  Mat. '  Mathurinus  was  a  saint  in  Gasti- 
nois  (Gatinais),  a  district  lying  southwest  of  Paris.  Saint  Mathe- 
lin,  to  give  his  popular  name,  was  *  held  to  be  the  Physitian,  or 
Patron  of  mad  fooles '  (  Cotgrave  ) .  *  Saint  Vitus'  s  dance  '  is  one 
of  the  few  English  phrases  left  over  from  a  time  when  various 
saints  supplied  names  for  as  many  kinds  of  maladies.  The  liberty 
of  abbreviating  the  name  has  been  taken  because  *  Mathelin  ' 
would  rime  disagreeably  (in  prose)  with  *  Patelin,'  and  because 
*  Mathelin  '  is  in  any  case  a  name  without  meaning,  so  far  as  most 
persons  are  concerned. 

XVI 

Page  38.  *  This  must  have  happened  since  sunrise,  then,'  etc. 
On  page  68  we  learn  that  the  trial  takes  place  about  six  o'clock. 
In  the  fifteenth  century  the  hours  had  come  to  be  reckoned  as 
they  are  now.  Therefore  the  whole  action  of  Patelin  consumes 
some  ten  or  twelve  hours  of  daylight,  and  the  first  great  comedy 
[    lOI    ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


composed  in  a  modern  tongue  observes  the  Unity  of  Time,  if  we 
understand  that  term  according  to  traditional  canons.  In  reality 
the  imagination  needs  only  about  an  hour  and  a  quarter  to  learn 
a  series  of  events  which  occupy,  with  intervals  not  altogether  easy 
to  determine,  a  period  lasting  approximately  from  rather  early  in 
the  morning  till  dusk. 

Now,  as  to  the  Unity  of  Place.  On  the  medieval  stage  the 
various  scenes  of  a  story  were  visualised,  not  by  the  shifting  of 
scenery,  but  by  the  juxtaposition  of  all  the  structures  necessary  to 
the  performance  of  a  given  piece.  From  the  beginning  of  a  play 
to  its  close  the  stage-setting  remained  unchanged.  Such,  at  any 
rate,  was  the  character  of  the  'serious  drama,'  and  there  is  no 
good  reason  for  supposing  that  a  wholly  different  arrangement 
obtained  in  the  performing  of  farces  (see  Preface,  pages  xiii  and 
xiv).  We  may  assume  that  on  one  side  of  a  broad  stage  stood 
the  Draper's  shop,  or  some  structure  intended  to  represent  it. 
On  the  other  side  stood  Patelin's  abode,  designated,  perhaps,  by 
hardly  more  than  a  wall  with  a  door  in  it  (see  the  woodcut, 
page  33),  and  that  this  door  opened  upon  an  area  representing 
a  market-place,  or,  at  all  events,  a  space  wide  enough  to  lend  some 
plausibility  to  the  events  set  forth  in  Patelin.  If  we  grant  this 
to  be  true,  the  Unity  of  Place,  also,  is  observed  in  Patelin.  The 
setting  adopted  by  the  Comedie  Fran^aise  is  unquestionably  very 
different  from  that  of  the  Middle  Ages,  and  does  not  observe  the 
Unity  of  Place,  if  by  that  term  we  mean  one  and  the  same  local- 
ity completely  visible  at  a  given  moment. 

In  Patelin  the  Unity  of  Action  is  not  marred  by  any  irrelevant 
digression,  though  certain  entrances  are  too  timely.  But  this  same 
flaw  is  common  in  Moliere,  whose  characters  often  appear  on  the 
scene  with  no  better  warrant  than  a  *  Mais  le  voila  qui  vient,' 
or  some  other  similar  phrase.  As  late  as  Labiche  unjustified  en- 
trances are  still  common;  but  the  most  modern  playwrights,  when 
they  are  genuine  artists,  avoid  this  defect  in  dramatic  construction. 
[    102    ] 


Notes    on    the   Text 


XVII 

Page  39.  •  Rosewater,'  etc.  In  the  Middle  Ages  rosewater 
was  supposed  to  be  efficacious  in  restoring  persons  who  felt  faint, 
or  who  had  fallen  into  a  swoon.  Recipes  for  distilling  this  remedy 
have  been  preserved  by  numerous  works  on  medicine. 

In  his  essay  *  On  Three  Good  Women  '  (11,  35),  Montaigne 
speaks  of  rubbing  the  feet  as  if  that  had  been  a  common  way  of 
restoring  life  or  vitality. 

XVIII 
Page  40.  *  Marmara,  carimari,  carimara.'  This  gibberish 
seems  to  parody  some  weird  formula  once  used  by  priests  in  per- 
forming exorcisms  upon  persons  supposedly  possessed.  We  have 
much  the  same  sort  of  thing  in  the  mild  incantation  *  Ena,  mena, 
mina,  mo  !  Catch  a  nigger  by  the  toe,'  etc.,  or  in  '  Fe,  fi,  fo, 
film  !  I  smell  the  blood  of  an  Englishmun  ! '  As  Patelin  is  being 
plagued  by  *  black  men,'  the  conjecture  that  '  marmara,  carimari, 
carimara '  is  a  burlesque  of  some  formula  of  exorcism,  seems 
highly  plausible,  though  these  particular  syllables  may  imitate  some 
rigmarole  in  the  patter  of  fifteenth-century  trick-performing  mounte- 
banks. 

XIX 
Page  40.  *  Away  with  them!  away!'  The  text  reads, 
'  Amenes  les  moy,  amenes ! '  In  the  so-called  Chronique  scan- 
daleuse  (a.  d.  1460-1483  ),  and  in  various  other  medieval  texts, 
amener  is  more  than  once  used  for  emmener.  My  translation  is 
warranted,  therefore,  by  pure  philology  as  well  as  by  common 
sense. 

XX 

Page  40.  *  A  stole.'  When  a  priest  had  occasion  to  drive 
away  the  devil,  it  was  desirable,  if  not  indispensable,  that  he 
should  use  a  stole,  the  symbol  of  obedience.    For  a  detailed  de- 

[    103   ] 


Notes   on   the   Text 


scription  of  this  custom,  which  is  still  common  in  the  Roman 
Catholic  Church,  see  my  •  Exorcism  with  a  Stole,'  in  Modern 
Language  Notes  for  December,  1 904. 

XXI 

Page  42.  'My  water.'  Medieval  physicians  set  great  store 
by  the  examination  of  urinal  symptoms.  A  large  number  of  manu- 
scripts treating  of  this  subject  have  come  down,  and  literary  allu- 
sions are  common  as  late  as  the  eighteenth  century. 

XXII 
Page  44.    *  No  goose.'    At  this  period  geese  were  a  luxury 
not  often  relished  by  persons  like  our  Draper,  and  one  may  im- 
agine how  he  had  set  his  heart  on  eating  this  delicacy  at  Pate- 
lin's  table.    See  Note  x. 

XXIII 

CT^  Page  48.  *  Three  lessons  and  three  psalms.'  Between  the 
•/  5  -eleventh  and  fourteenth  centuries  the  Franciscans  began  to  feel 
that  the  Breviary  required  them  to  recite  too  many  lessons  and 
too  many  psalms.  So  they  reduced  the  number  from  nine  to 
three,  —  at  least,  on  certain  occasions  only  three  lessons  and  three 
psalms  were  required.  In  the  thirteenth  century  it  became  cus- 
tomary in  France  to  recite  only  three  psalms  at  matins  throughout 
Easter,  nor  was  this  easy-going  way  characteristic  merely  of  the 
Abbey  of  Fecamp,  as  a  famous  passage  in  Rabelais  might  lead  us 
to  suppose.  *  **  According  to  what  usage,"  said  Gargantua  [to  the 
monk],  "do  you  say  these  beautiful  hours?"  —  "According 
to  the  usage  of  Fecamp,"  said  the  monk,  "with  three  lessons 
and  three  psalms,  or,  for  those  who  are  unwilling,  nothing  at 
all."  '    (^Gargantua,  i,  41.) 

Before  the  days  of  printing,  breviaries  were  so  costly  that  tliey 
were  often  chained  to  a  bench  in  the  choir,  and  each  monk  or 

[    104   ] 


Notes    on    the   Text 


priest  had  to  learn  the  minimum  by  heart.  That  those  who  knew 
only  the  minimum  should  have  excited  the  pity  or  scorn  of  their 
more  diligent  brethren,  and  that  their  feelings  should  have  been 
expressed  in  such  a  manner  as  to  give  rise  to  this  proverbial  taunt, 
is  not  contrary  to  the  tendencies  of  human  nature.  The  Draper 
could  hardly  have  hit  upon  a  more  ludicrously  appropriate  phrase 
to  express  his  contemptuous  indignation  and  his  self-esteem. 

XXIV 

Page  50.  *The  Abbot  of  Ivernaux.'  The  Abbey  of  Iver- 
naux,  or  Hivernaux,  was  situate  near  the  hamlet  called  Brie-Comte- 
Robert,  which  lies  some  twenty  miles  southeast  of  Paris,  in 
whose  archbishopric  was  the  Church  of  Ivernaux.  The  Abbey  of 
Ivernaux  was  sadly  weakened  by  the  wars  of  the  fourteenth  and 
fifteenth  centuries. 

But  to  what  Abbot  of  Ivernaux  is  Patelin  alluding  ? 

In  a  lease  dated  1441,  and  in  another  dated  1451,  one  Nico- 
las Bottelin  is  spoken  of  as  ♦  abbot. '  Another  lease,  dated  1 46 1 , 
applies  the  title  to  a  Jean  d' Arquevilliers.  Philippe  seems  to  have 
been  the  name  of  an  Abbot  of  Ivernaux  who  signed  a  lease  on 
31  March,  1468. 

Whatever  may  be  the  advantage  of  knowing  these  names,  — 
very  barren  things  at  best,  —  it  is  worth  our  while  to  learn  that 
in  1468,  the  year  before  Patelin  first  entered  an  extant  record, 
the  Abbot  of  Ivernaux  was  no  longer  a  power,  for  his  abbacy 
had  sunk  into  poverty  ;  yet  even  a  certain  wealth  and  influence 
would  hardly  have  saved  the  Abbot  of  Ivernaux  from  being  the 
butt  of  Patelin' s  somewhat  lewd  jocularity,  and  we  may  be  sure 
that  our  lawyer  in  his  sham  delirium  was  not  shooting  an  arrow 
at  the  moon.  The  abbot  was  doubtless  a  gay  fellow,  and  a  worthy 
contemporary  of  Huguette  du  Hamel,  who,  notwithstanding  her 
intimacy  with  Francois  Villon  and  other  reprobates,  and  although 
she  had  been  guilty  of  inciting  a  hireling  to  murder,  could  still 
[    105   ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


hold  her  position  as  Abbess  of  Port- Royal.  Yet  the  real  import- 
ance of  this  allusion  to  the  Abbot  of  Ivernaux  is  that  it  seems  to 
show  that  our  farce  was  composed  to  be  performed  in  the  region 
round  about  Brie-Comte-Robert  ;  for  it  is  unlikely  that  this  par- 
ticular abbot's  fame  had  spread  very  far  beyond  the  bounds  of  his 
abbacy. 

XXV 

Page  51.  'Mere  de  diou,'  etc.  In  this  and  the  following 
passages  of  dialect  or  jargon  the  translator  was  confronted  by  a 
problem  of  serious  difficulty.  Three  courses  seemed  possible  : 
(tf)  to  transform  Patelin  into  an  out-and-out  English  farce,  chang- 
ing the  names  of  the  characters,  and  transplanting  the  scene  to 
medieval  England  ;  {^b')  to  preserve  the  point  of  Guillemette's 
explanadons  by  leaving  Patelin's  reveries  untranslated  ;  (f)  to 
adopt  the  plan  chosen  by  Albrecht  Count  Wickenburg,  who,  in 
his  excellent  verse-translation  into  German  (Vienna,  1883), 
leaves  no  foreign  words  save  the  Latin,  substituting  for  the  other 
dialects  and  jargons  certain  passages  of  his  own  invention,  in 
which  Patelin  is  made  to  rave,  now  like  a  delirious  alchemist  who 
talks  incoherently  of  quicksilver,  sulphur,  etc.,  or  like  a  dying 
man  who  pretends  to  see  the  flames  of  hell,  as  well  as  other  phe- 
nomena unnecessary  to  mention. 

Similar  approximations  will  be  found  in  Fournier's  version 
(1871)  and  in  a  later  (undated)  version  by  Eudoxie  Dupuis. 
The  present  translation,  however,  aims  at  the  highest  degree  of 
literality  consistent  with  the  use  of  idiomatic,  comprehensible  Eng- 
lish, and  aims,  furthermore,  to  be  loyal  to  what  is  not  merely  a 
farce,  but  also  a  document  of  historical  importance.  I  doubt  that 
the  retention  of  these  passages  will  destroy  the  reader's  illusion  : 
he  will  probably  understand  the  obscurest  of  them  quite  as  well 
as  they  were  understood  by  Patelin'' s  first  audience  ;  the  others 
will  simply  be  somewhat  less  intelligible  than  they  seemed  to 
Frenchmen  in  1 469.  It  may  be  added  that  the  author  of  Patelin 
[    106   ] 


Notes    on   the    Text 


has  made  these  passages  so  long  as  to  render  them  rather  boresome 
from  a  modern  point  of  view  ;  for,  even  if  one  understands  them 
pretty  well,  they  lack  a  certain  charm  which  brevity  imparts. 
I  have  not  hesitated,  therefore,  to  shorten  them  slightly  ;  but  a 
comparison  with  any  fifteenth-century  edition  will  show  the  reader 
how  the  cutting  was  done.  It  seemed  undesirable  to  attempt  here 
in  the  Notes  what  would  be  a  fragmentary  and  not  very  interest- 
ing series  of  translations. 

XXVI 

Page  54.  '  But  how  does  he  come  to  speak  Norman.'  Not 
in  the  original;  added  for  clearness. 

XXVII 
Page  57.    *  Quid.'     Qui  in  the  original.    A  mistake  due,  per- 
haps, to  the  fact  that  d  final  in  French  is  generally  silent. 

XXVIII 

Page  57.  The  original  text  of  Guillemette's  speech  is  corrupt. 
My  translation  is  based  on  a  temporary  attempt  at  restoration. 

XXIX 
Page  58.     *  How  do  you  like  me  for  a  teacher  ?  '  —  in  the 
original,  Avant  vous  ay  je  Men  aprins.    Fifteenth-century  syntax 
allows  a  so-called  masculine  past  participle  to  go  with  a  feminine 
antecedent.    Vous  means  not  the  Draper,  but  Guillemette. 

XXX 

Page  59.  The  long  stage- direction  describes  how  this  episode 
of  Patelin  is  wound  up  at  the  Comedie  Fran^aise.  The  medieval 
stage  had  no  curtain,  and  we  have  no  means  of  knowing  how 
Patelin  and  Guillemette  made  themselves  inconspicuous  at  the 
close  of  this  scene. 

[    107   ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


XXXI 

Page  60.  *  The  Shepherd.^  The  Shepherd's  entrance  is  too 
timely.  Nothing  in  the  plot  warrants  his  appearance  at  precisely 
this  instant.  Similar  unjustified  entrances  are  common  in  Moliere, 
who,  as  has  been  said  (Note  xvi),  often  uses  some  stock  formula 
to  keep  a  character  from  seeming  to  blunder  in. 

XXXII 

Page  60. ,  '  Some  one  or  other  in  striped  hosen. '  This  was 
a  Sergent  a  verge,  an  officer  empowered  to  make  arrests,  effect 
seizures,  etc. 

XXXIII 

Page  62.  *  By  Saint  Lupus.'  The  Shepherd's  oath  is  well 
chosen  ;  for  wolves  were  still  a  pest  at  this  period.  Saint  Lupus 
(Saint  Wolf,  to  translate  his  name)  was  called  Saint  Leu  in  Old 
French.  As  late  as  1633  there  was  standing  near  that  Noyon 
which  is  mentioned  on  page  87  a  monastery  dedicated  to  Saint 
Leu,  who  was  honoured,  also,  at  Troyes  in  Champagne. 

XXXIV 

Page  64.  *A  dealer.'  The  Shepherd  does  not  name  the 
*  dealer ' ;  Patelin,  on  his  side,  neglects,  or  the  dramatist,  for  his 
own  convenience  or  through  carelessness,  neglects  to  have  Patelin 
inquire  as  to  the  dealer's  identity.  So  Patehn,  on  arriving  at 
the  trial,  is  astonished  to  confront  the  very  individual  whom  he 
has  himself  cheated.  The  Draper,  as  we  have  seen,  had  lied  to 
Patelin  by  telling  him  that  his  whole  flock  had  perished  in  the 
great  frost  (page  18).  That  our  crafty  lawyer  should  fail  to  make 
the  Shepherd  divulge  his  master's  name  seems  incredible  ;  it  is  to 
this  flaw  in  characterisation  that  we  owe  one  of  the  most  comic 
features  of  the  trial  scene,  namely  the  unexpected  meeting  of  the 
Lawyer  and  his  dupe. 

[    108   ] 


Notes    on    the   Text 


XXXV 

Page  67.  *  Answer  nothing  but  ba-a,*  etc.  In  the  second 
part  of  his  edition  of  j1  C.  Mery  Tales  and  ^icke  Answers 
(^Shakespere  Jest  Books,  page  60),  Mr.  W.  Carew  Hazlitt  has 
reprinted  the  anecdote  '  Of  hym  that  payde  his  dette  with  crienge 
bea. '  In  this  version  the  Shepherd  is  replaced  by  a  spendthrift ; 
otherwise  the  anecdote  is  nothing  more  nor  less  than  a  kind  of 
disguised  summary  of  the  plot  of  Patelin  from  verse  1067  (in 
this  translation,  from  Scene  xvii)  to  the  end.  Whether  this  par- 
ticular anecdote  figured  in  the  edition  of  the  C  Merj  Tales 
printed  by  John  Rastell  about  1525,  Mr.  HazHtt  does  not  say. 
It  entered,  at  all  events,  into  the  collection  printed  by  Thomas 
Berthelet  about  1535.  Assuming  this  date  to  be  nearly  correct, 
we  may  assert  that  our  French  farce  must  have  been  known  in 
England  a  century  before  Rabelais,  It  was,  therefore,  not  through 
Rabelais  that  Patelin  began  to  influence  English  literature. 

The  legal  episodes  of  Patelin,  as  they  appear  in  the  C.  Mery 
Tales,  might  be  conceived  to  occur  at  almost  any  time  and  in 
almost  any  country  ;  for  no  names  are  given.  In  PasquiP s  Jests 
(see  Hazlitt,  op.  cit.,  vol.  in,  pp.  45,  46),  of  which  several 
editions  were  printed  in  the  first  half  of  the  seventeenth  century, 
we  find  almost  exactly  the  same  story,  slightly  shortened  and 
with  the  scene  laid  in  London.  The  version  in  PasquiPs  Jests 
is  derived,  without  doubt,  from  the  earher  English  version,  and 
not  from  the  French  text.  There  can  be  no  question  of  folklore 
in  this  matter :  what  we  have  is  a  loan,  made  through  a  literary 
channel. 

To  sum  up  :  The  last  third  of  Patelin  was  epitomised  for  Eng- 
lish readers  in  the  first  third  of  the  sixteenth  century.  But,  to  go 
fiirther,  I  will  venture  the  opinion  that  Patelin,  in  one  or  more 
of  the  many  editions  printed  in  France  and  in  the  fifteenth  cen- 
tury, had  crossed  the  Channel  before  1500,  and  it  was  no  doubt 

[    109   ] 


Notes    on    the    Text 


from  one  of  these  original  texts  that  some  more  or  less  literary 
person  derived  his  summary.  Yet  it  was  probably  through  Rabe- 
lais that  the  wily  Patelin  became  known  for  the  first  time  to  a 
considerable  number  of  people  in  England.  See  Introduction, 
page  xxxvi  ff. 

XXXVI 
Page  69.  •  Welcome,  sir  !  '    The  Judge  has  no  reason  to  sup- 
pose that  Patelin  has  a  client,  but  he  knows  that  lawyer.    See  the 
beginning  of  the  piece  and  notice  that  the  Judge  invites  Patelin 
to  supper  (page  86). 

XXXVII 

Page  75.  'Come!  Let's  stick  to  those  sheep!*  'Sus  ! 
Revenons  a  ces  moutons  ! '  cries  the  Judge,  and  he  coins  one  of 
those  neat  and  useful  phrases  which  soon  make  their  way  from 
country  to  country,  entering  the  every-day  speech  of  persons  quite 
unaware  to  whom  or  what  they  are  indebted.  In  his  essay  on 
Marlowe  (  Old  English  Dramatists')  James  Russell  Lowell  says, 
*  But  it  is  high  time  that  I  should  remember  Maitre  Guillaume  of 
Patelin,  and  return  to  my  sheep. '  The  mention  of  *  Guillaume  ' 
indicates  that  Lowell  had  read  Patelin,  and  that  he  was  not 
merely  borrowing  the  words  '  to  return  to  our  sheep  '  from  Rabe- 
lais. In  the  first  chapter  of  Gargantua,  Rabelais  says,  *  Retour- 
nant  a  nos  moutons,  je  vous  dis  .  .  . ' ;  but  it  is  likely  that  the 
nos  had  been  substituted  for  the  less  convenient  ces  (a  homonym 
of  ses)  a.  good  while  before  Rabelais  read  Patelin.  Owing  to 
facetiousness  rather  than  to  ignorance,  moutons  is  usually  rendered 
not  by  'sheep,'  but  by  'muttons,'  —  a  mistransladon  which 
neatly  indicates  the  proverb's  Gallic  origin. 

XXXVIII 

Page  87.  'Brainless'  (Esservele)  figured,  no  doubt,  in  some 
force  or  morality  no  longer  extant.    In  *  Mr.  Golightly,'  '  Dob- 


Notes    on   the    Text 


bin,'  etc.,  not  to  mention  many  allegorical  names  in  the  older 
comedy,  English  furnishes  parallels. 

XXXIX 

Page  87.  Of  Jean  de  Noyon  nothing  is  known  save  what  we 
may  infer  from  the  text  of  Patelin.  Assuredly  he  was  a  real 
character,  contemporary  with  the  audience  for  which  Patelin  was 
first  performed,  and  one  may  surmise  that  he  was  more  or  less 
notorious,  and  that  he  bore  a  strong,  perhaps  a  comic,  likeness  to 
the  actor  who  first  played  the  part  of  Patelin.  But  this  is  guess- 
work. Whatever  the  truth  may  be,  it  is  highly  improbable  that 
this  Jean  belonged  to  the  noble  family  having  its  seat  at  Noyon  ; 
for  this  family  seems  to  have  died  out  before  the  fifteenth  century  ; 
nor  do  I  find  a  Jean  de  Noyon  among  the  few  Fools  whose  names 
have  been  handed  down. 

XL 

Page  89.  Why  has  the  Shepherd  remained  ?  Simply  to  fiir- 
nish  another  scene,  one  of  the  best  scenes  of  all ;  but  obviously 
Lambkin  had  a  good  chance  to  escape  when  the  Judge  dismissed 
him.  In  real  life  so  canny  a  rogue  would  not  fail  to  make  him- 
self scarce  as  soon  as  possible. 

XLI 

Page  94.  Here  occurs  the  first  bit  of  moralising  in  Patelin ; 
but  the  Lawyer  is  not  repentant  ;  he  is  crestfallen  at  being 
outwitted  by  a  shepherd  :  that  is  all.  His  chagrin  is  followed 
by  a  touch  of  anger,  yet  it  is  only  a  touch,  and  we  may  fancy 
a  sardonic  grin  passing  over  his  lean  countenance  as  he  looks  again 
at  the  *  sheep  in  clothing '  who  has  so  admirably  carried  out  his 
own  instructions. 

Genuine  moralisations,  such  as  one  finds  in  the  younger  Du- 
mas and  in  certain  plays  by  Mr.  Bernard  Shaw,  are  exceedingly 
rare  in  the  old  French  farces. 

[    III    ] 


Notes   on   the   Text 


XLII 

Page  94.  *  If  he  finds  me,  I  '11  forgive  him  ! '  These  are  the 
last  words  in  all  the  old  editions.  They  break  the  Shepherd's 
promise  fpage  67),  but  our  dramatist,  knowing  human  nature 
and  drawing  it  with  a  sure  hand,  leaves  his  work  with  no  weak 
or  awkward  ending.  It  is  a  skilfiil  stroke  to  have  the  Shepherd 
behave  like  a  man,  after  he  has  so  ably  behaved  like  a  sheep. 
What  becomes  of  him  ?  We  imagine  that  he  continues  his  mis- 
deeds till,  after  a  while,  he  is  nabbed,  brought  to  book,  and,  hav- 
ing no  Patelin  to  defend  him,  is  properly  hanged. 


NOTES    ON  THE   CUTS 


NOTES    ON  THE   CUTS 


The  edition  of  Pate /in  published  by  Genin  in  1854  contains 
inaccurate  reproductions  of  five  of  Le vet's  illustrative  woodcuts: 
to  wit,  the  first,  second,  third,  fourth,  and  sixth.  But  with 
characteristic  whimsicality  —  or  carelessness  —  Genin  borrowed 
the  first  and  fourth  from  an  inferior  edition  of  Patelin  by  Jehan 
Treperel.*  The  trial  scene  Genin  got  from  Beneaut's  Patelin 
(a.  d.  1490),  though  he  could  have  copied  the  original  cut  in 
Levet's  edition.  Beneaut's  two  almost  identical  cuts  of  the  trial 
scene  were  not  made  from  the  block  used  by  Levet,  as  some 
writers  have  stated ;  for  Levet's  cut  has  not  the  same  dimensions 
as  the  two  in  Beneaut's  edition. 

In  1 870  Baillieu, '  marchant  libraire  sur  le  quay  des  grads  augus- 
tins  a  Paris,'  to  quote  his  pseudo-archaic  colophon,  published  in 
the  so-called  ♦  Bibliotheque  gothique '  what  he  apparently  in- 
tended to  pass  off  as  a  facsimile,  or,  at  any  rate,  as  a  reprint  of 
Levet's  Patelin.  Not  only  does  Baillieu' s  edition  contain  many 
gross  textual  blunders,  but  it  so  distorts  Levet's  cuts  as  to  give 

*  The  Treperel  Patelin,  from  which  Genin  seems  to  have  borrowed  his 
cuts,  must  have  appeared  after  13  October,  1499  ;  for  its  colophon  reads  thus  : 
Imprime  a  Paris  par  Jehan  treperel  demourant  a  la  rue  sainct  iacques  pres 
sainct  yues  a  lymaige  saint  laurens.  Treperel  had  been  obliged  to  remove  to  the 
above  address  after  the  fall  of  the  Pont  Nostre  Dame  on  the  13  October, 
1499. 

[  "5] 


Notes   on   the   Cuts 


a  wholly  false  impression.  In  a  word,  Baillieu's  Patelin  is  an 
out-and-out  imposture  and  even  worse  than  worthless. 

Inasmuch  as  no  one  else  has  attempted  in  modern  times,  in  so 
far  as  I  am  aware,  to  reproduce  Levet's  woodcuts,  the  facsimiles 
in  this  volume  can  rightly  be  called  the  first  that  have  ever  been 
made.  They  differ  from  the  originals  in  the  respect  that  no  attempt 
has  been  made  to  imitate  Levet's  paper,  or  to  reproduce  the  marks 
of  age.  Certain  imperfections  in  Levet's  cuts  indicate,  ap- 
parently, either  that  the  only  known  exemplar  of  his  edition  was 
one  of  the  last  to  be  printed,  or  that  the  paper  was  not  properly 
wetted.  I  may  add  that  Levet's  sixth  illustration,  to  judge  by 
the  Shepherd's  beard  and  other  inconsistencies  of  drawing,  can 
hardly  have  been  made  by  the  engraver  who  executed  the  other 
illustrations.    See  the  Preface,  page  xiii. 

The  printer's  mark  of  Pierre  Levet  appears  on  the  first  page 
of  his  Patelin,  and  serves  as  a  frontispiece  to  the  present  volume. 
Levet  did  not  use  the  same  block  when  he  put  this  mark  in  his 
edition  of  Villon  in  1489. 

As  to  the  value  of  Levet's  illustrations  o{ Patelin,  see  the  Pre- 
face, pages  ix  and  xiii. 

Levet's  seven  woodcuts  are  here  reproduced  by  permission  of 
M.  Leopold  Delisle,  former  Head  Librarian  of  the  Bibliotheque 
Nationale. 


EUctrotyped  and  printed  by  H.  O.  Houghton  &'  Co. 
Cambridge,  Mass.,  U.  S.  A. 


9F 


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from  which  It  was  borrowed. 


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